lifestyle – Page 6 – Keeping it creative

compassion, grief, lifestyle, pets, wellbeing

Monday Matters: Tips for coping with pet loss and how to support others through their grief

Posted on Feb 12, 2024Feb 11, 2024 by Laura

This morning, I’ve been doing a little bit of work on my general blog pages (about me page, FAQs etc.) to check that they’re up to date. When reading my bio on my home page, I noticed that it said that I share my home with my husband and my little hamster Millie. Unfortunately, hamsters only live for up to one to two years of age and she passed away several months ago now. Both of us were upset at our loss and it was sad to see her decline over the last few weeks of her life. To us, she was not just ‘our hamster’, she was a much loved member of the family, and her funny antics and personality provided us with so much joy. Today, I want to share some tips for coping with pet loss, because, whether your pet was small or large, they’re sure to have left a big hole in your life and much sadness. I also want to discuss some ways in which you can support family members or friends who have experienced a recent loss.

Tips for coping when your pet dies

Accept your emotions, feelings and thoughts without judgement

Following your loss, all kinds of strong emotions and feelings may come up. For example, at different times, you might experience sadness, anxiety, disbelief, shock, anger, guilt and regret. You could also find that your thoughts are completely preoccupied with your loss, leaving you unable to think of anything else. Whatever you experience, try to simply be aware of the different emotions, feelings and thoughts as they come and go, accepting them as a normal part of the grieving process. Remember, as well, to be compassionate and kind to yourself in a way that you would be towards a loved one who was experiencing such as loss.

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family

As you come to terms with your loss, it’s good to seek out friends and family members who you know will be supportive, rather than diminishing how you are feeling. This could include someone who has lost a pet in the past or has a cherished pet (or pets) of their own. You might also turn to individuals who are good listeners and often have the ability to make you feel better with their words or gestures.

On the other hand, some people will struggle to understand your intense feelings of sadness and may not offer the empathy you need or could even seem dismissive of the situation. Rather than getting angry, frustrated or upset with them, try to accept that they just don’t get it, brush them off, and find others, possibly outside of your social circle, who do recognise your suffering.

Embrace your memories

Talk and think about fond memories of your pet with family members and understanding friends. Look back over photographs and videos of fun times and reminisce over your own and shared experiences. And if difficult emotions arise, just accept them and know that it’s okay to be upset.

We have a cute video of Millie playing in her digging tower where we are waiting in anticipation of her emerging out of the bottom covered in wood-shavings. We never tire of watching her appear, and the video even has audio of me encouraging her to dig her way out! We also have photos of many of our hamsters when they were little babies and some moments where they’re enjoying a snack or exploring. Most of them are a little on the blurry side as they very rarely stay still but they’re still lovely reminders of our furry friends throughout the years and we have treasured memories of each and every one of them.

Try seeking out online or in person support

There are a range of support groups available online and this includes websites specifically dedicated to pet loss such as the Blue Cross organisation which has a Facebook community and trained volunteers you can speak with. You can also seek the help of a therapist who can offer counselling and coping strategies.

I’ve been a part of the ‘hamsters’ group on Facebook for many years now. It has over 6K members and there’s always someone on there to offer a kind word following the loss of your furry friend or when you need some emotional support regarding difficult decisions with regard to ailing hamsters.

Practice self-care as you mourn your loss

Although it might be difficult, try to look after yourself as best you can during your period of mourning. This can include eating a balanced diet, getting some exercise each day, trying to ensure you get a good night’s sleep, keeping up with basic hygiene and even pampering yourself a little such as with a massage, manicure, bubble bath or a new haircut.

Try journalling

Journalling about your pet and your loss can be a great way to explore how you are feeling and is also a lovely way to help you remember how unique and special they were. You could do some free writing to explore your thoughts but, if you’re unsure what to write, this website has some great journalling prompts to choose from.

Don’t rush to replace your pet

Although it might be tempting to get another pet straight away, it is usually better to mourn your old pet first and wait until you are emotionally ready to welcome a new animal into your home. There’s no right time to get a new pet, but experts suggest that you should wait until you have worked through your grief adequately enough to be able to look forward to a new addition rather than still be in the process of deeply mourning your loss.

Ways to support someone who has recently lost their pet

Send a sorry for your loss card to let them know that you care and are thinking about them.
Be a good listener when they talk about their feelings, emotions and ways in which their loss is affecting them. Think about supportive things you might say in reply – maybe that you were sorry to hear about x, or that your here for them if they want to talk. Also, knowing what not to say is just as important. Phrases such as ‘he was old anyway’, ‘she’s in a better place now’ or ‘you can get another one’ might be well meaning but they’re also dismissive at the same time.
Let them know that it’s normal to be upset and it is okay to cry, feel sad or even become lonely or a little depressed. It’s important to allow time to grieve and heal – and it takes as long as it takes.
Remind them to be self-compassionate and encourage them to look after their basic needs. You could also offer support with this such as getting some shopping in for them, making a nutritious meal to take around or doing some errands. Ask them if there’s anything you can do and make suggestions so that they know that the offer off help isn’t just something to say.
Check in with them regularly after your initial conversation. Text or phone them to ask them how they are getting on and if they need anything.
Help them to seek out further support by looking into dedicated websites for pet loss or by finding leaflets or books on the topic. Some resources are specifically aimed at particular pet owners, for example The Kennel Club offers advice on coping with losing your dog.

Final words…

If you have found and are reading today’s blog post because your pet has recently died, I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved pet can be a very difficult time as they are very much a part of the family. I hope you find the above suggestions useful and they help you to cope with your grief. Remember that, if needed, there are therapists available who are trained to support people through any type of grief, including pet loss, and they will help you talk through your feelings, normalise your emotions and any difficulties you are experiencing and offer coping strategies.

art, bullet journal, Bullet journaling, creativity, lifestyle, Planning and journaling, watercolour painting

Setting up my Bullet Journal for February 2024: Valentine’s roses and hearts theme

Posted on Jan 25, 2024Jan 30, 2024 by Laura

For the month of February, I decided to do some more watercolour painting. There’s lots of tutorials online for loose watercolour roses, so I thought I’d give it a try and then use my new skill to create a front cover. I searched for easy and beginner tutorials but I used more than ten A5 sheets of watercolour paper developing my technique so it definately wasn’t a breeze for me and my perfectionist self!

For the rest of my spreads I made stickers using my Cricut Joy Xtra. I would love to turn my watercolour images into stickers but I’m not sure how easy it is to do, so, for now, I’m just using pictures from Cricut Design Studio which I subscribe to. I hope you like my finished pages and I look forward to seeing everyone else’s themes and approaches on WordPress, YouTube and Instagram.

Watercolour rose

My intention for the front cover was to paint three roses in different colours – pink, red and peach, and add leaves. However, every time I attempted the final piece, I would create two lovely roses that I was happy with and one which went completely wrong! In the end, I decided to do just one rose to place in the centre of my page. In a bid to save watercolour paper, I used a piece that I’d already practised on. Unfortunately, I didn’t watch where I was putting the leaves and had to fix my mistake with a carefully placed title on my cover page as you will see shortly!

Photo credit: Laura Jones for Keeping It Creative

Front cover

After my painting session, I scanned my artwork and printed it using my Canon Pixma printer. The colours aren’t quite the same but they look okay. I added the image to a page in MS Publisher and hid the top part of the other rose by adding a title using a text box with white background. As I eventually opted for just one rose and some leaf decoration, I had some space at the top and bottom of the page. I found a washi tape that worked perfectly. This one is from MT which are always superb quality.

The monthly calendar

When I popped to Hobbycraft the other week, they were having a 20% off Cricut consumables sale so I treated myself to some transparent sticker paper to use with my Cricut Joy Xtra. Unfortunately, when I got to the till, I discovered that the product I had chosen was one of the only items that wasn’t part of the offer – typically eh! Needless to say, I bought it anyway. I love how bright and colourful this double page turned out and it was super quick to create all of the stickers as both the roses and the hearts had a white border offset on them already!

Finances record

I absolutely loved the watercolour heart envelope so I made it into a large sticker. Of course, it means that I’ll have to try not to have too many expenses for February or I’ll run out of room to record them!

Weeklies

I opted for a Dutch door layout again this month but there was still plenty of room for the stickers I created. My daily events are recorded in the boxes on this double page and then overleaf, I have a running task list.

A Valentine’s mood board

This is another decorative spread which I think turned out really nice. I found the middle image on Cricut Design Space but when I’d printed and cut it, I had no idea what do do with it! Then I though, I know, I’ll make a kind of mood board which makes me smile every time I see it.

Final words…

Thank you for taking the time to look at my bullet journal spreads for February. The pages took me quite a while to create, but I’m pleased with how they all turned out. I hope you like them too and they’ve given you some inspiration for your own BuJo.

Wishing you a happy and healthy February and a month filled with self love and kindness,

lifestyle, mental health, Mindfulness, Planning and journaling, reflective journalling, wellbeing, wellness

Monday Matters: 4 Ways to Destress after a Busy Day

Posted on Jan 15, 2024Jan 16, 2024 by Laura

Most of us lead very busy lives and it can be incredibly difficult to switch off and relax in the evening in preparation for a good night’s sleep. Today, I’m sharing four excellent ways to wind down after a stressful or busy day. The following activities are great for your mental health and wellbeing and I’m going to be offering lots of different options to choose from depending on your preferences.

Do a journalling activity

After a busy or particularly stressful day, it can often be super difficult to calm our mind. Your head can be full of all kinds of clutter in the form of thoughts (both positive and negative), ideas or feelings. Maybe you’re busy analysing or deconstructing everything that has happened and going through things that were said. Perhaps you’re worrying about your mounting to do list and what didn’t get crossed off today because of x,y and z which took priority. Or, you might be looking towards tomorrow, thinking about the events in your diary or how you can be super productive and get more done whilst making it a calmer, less stress inducing day. If any of the above apply, you might be wondering if you will ever be able to switch off and sleep tonight. This is where getting your thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto paper can be super helpful. Just ten minutes of free flow or structured journal writing can make all the difference.

I learnt the following method for putting the day to rest when I was teaching, when every day was a busy day and I was really struggling to relax and sleep.

Putting the day to rest activity

Set aside 20 minutes in the early evening (I used to do this at 7.30pm)
Sit down somewhere quiet
Think about your day today and how it has gone, what you did and how you feel about it
Write it down in bullet points or free writing if you prefer
Write down anything you didn’t get done off your to-do list
Think about tomorrow – do you have any particular events coming up? what are looking forward to? are there any worries you have about what’s happening?
Write down a loose or structured plan for your day depending on your own needs (you can always modify this as you learn what works best for you.
When it comes to later evening and bedtime, if thoughts about today or tomorrow pop into your head, remind yourself that you’ve already evaluated your day and planned for tomorrow, so you don’t need to think about it any more.
If new thoughts come into your head at bedtime, jot them down on a piece of paper or on a notepad.

Other types of prompt based journalling might also work for you and there are some lovely ones on the market which can be used before bed. I’m a big fan of The Five Minute Journal but there are plenty of much cheaper options if this doesn’t fit with your budget. How much you want to write is up to you but it’s good to develop a consistent practice which becomes a positive habit to end your work time or day with.

Try a Mindful or Meditative Practice

Any type of activity that requires a high level of concentration and uses different senses is great for helping you to forget about the busyness of your day. Here’s some ideas for mindful and meditative activities which you might like to try:

Meditation – this can simply be sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing or using a guided practice. I recently found this account on YouTube that has some lovely ones with different foci that you mind find helpful. When choosing a guided session, it’s important to find someone who’s voice you find soothing and relaxing so you might like to try out a few to establish your preferences.
Crafting – there are so many different crafting options such as papercrafting, watercolour painting, knitting, sewing, crochet, model making and so on – why not give a few beginner projects a go to see which you prefer.
Some kind of puzzle e.g. a jigsaw, wordsearch, crossword etc. – great for keeping your mind active
Games – this could be something on your computer that you play by yourself such as Angry Birds, Candy Crush, Word Cookies or Patience, or one you play with others such as Boggle, Yahtzee, Gin Rummy, Scrabble or Jenga.
Enjoy a scented bubble bath and use your senses to fully appreciate the experience.
Cook a meal from scratch – measure out your ingredients with care, fully engaged with chopping / dicing / peeling etc, smell the different flavours as the dish cooks, taste the mixture to check the seasoning and so on. Mindfully enjoy the results at your dining table. Share your experience with others.
Watch something engaging on TV – comedy, drama, nature, historical interest or reality. Whatever you enjoy, give it your full attention and leave your phone or tablet in another room so you don’t get distracted. If you’re anything like me at this time of year, you’ll want to get your PJs on and snuggle under a warm blanket with your feet up for this one!

Read a book or magazine

Spending time reading a novel, information book, or favourite magazine is a great way to unwind and get yourself all relaxed and ready for bed. I love Psychologies magazine, as it’s full of positive ideas, and I can learn new ways of managing mental health and wellbeing at the same time.

Some people argue that you shouldn’t read in bed, but I find reading a few chapters of my Kindle novel (or for about 30 minutes) helps me to drift off really quickly. Try reading just before bed and reading in bed to see which works best for you.

Spend quality time with a loved one

Arranging an after work activity to do with a co-worker, friend, family member or partner can also help us destress. This could involve going out for an after-work drink, doing an evening class, watching a film at the cinema, seeing a comedy show or visiting a new or favourite restaurant. Alternatively, you might plan something fun to do together at home such as making popcorn to eat whilst watching a film, playing a board game or learning something new such as massage or reflexology.

Spending time with a pet is also great way to destress and calm the mind. This could include something you know they enjoy such as throwing a ball for your dog to catch at your local park (depending on the time of year), stroking your cat as they sit curled up on your knee, or watching your hamster as they zip around the house in their exercise ball.

Final words…

So there you have it, four ways to take yourself out of work/busy mode and into a relaxed state for the evening. I hope today’s post has given you food for thought and you’ll try one or two of the activities listed to see how they help. If you have any other preferences for your wind down routine, let me know in the comments.

art, bullet journal, Bullet journaling, creativity, lifestyle, Planning and journaling, watercolour painting

Setting up my Bullet Journal for January 2024: Watercolour winter scene and snowflakes theme

Posted on Jan 5, 2024Jan 5, 2024 by Laura

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you’re all having a good 2024 so far. I’m very late sharing my bullet journal spreads for this month for several reasons – one, we were away for Christmas and so I didn’t get out my paints until NYE, and two, the print and cut hack for making stickers using the Cricut Joy doesn’t work anymore and so I’ve resorted to purchasing the Cricut Xtra which is due to arrive today, the 4th January, with a view to creating some text stickers for my spreads.

Anyway, I hope you like the theme and the watercolour bits and pieces which I had great fun creating. On to the pages…

Front cover

Having chosen the theme, I did a bit of Googling, looking for winter scene watercolour painting and I found this gorgeous design on a blog post from way back in 2014. This inspired my front cover but I changed the colours up a bit. The trees were painted first using Intense Green (AKA phthalo green) mixed with a small amount of Payne’s Grey and Vandyke brown and a tiny bit of grey. When that was completely dry, I created the snowy ground using very watered down grey. Then, after drying, I mixed a range of blues for the sky. Whilst still wet, I used coarse salt sprinkles to create the snowy effect. Finally, I used white gouache for the snow on the trees and then paint flicks to give the idea of falling snow.

The original watercolour was then scanned in using my printer and I pasted it into an MS Publisher A5 page and added the January 2024 title. The colours never look the same as the original, but I’m still happy with how it turned out.

The calendar

My husband and I had a go at creating a blue background with salt sprinkles on New Years Eve! We enjoyed experimenting, and it was a great, relaxing activity to do in the evening and helped us to stay awake to see in the new year. Again, the piece was scanned in and this time, it was used to cover the whole page. I then cut out the calendar shape using some dot grid paper which I then positioned in a location on the pages which was close to where it would have been if I could see the dot grid. The titles were created using Cricut Design Space and printed when my machine eventually arrived!

When I’d finished it, I felt like something was missing so I used Design Space again to make lots of snowflake stickers in different sizes. I’ve done a snowflake theme in January previously, but this one looks very different so I don’t feel like I’m repeating designs.

Finances spread

My finances record is still working really well so I’ve kept to the same layout but changed the decor to go with my theme for January. I love the little watercolour scene I found on Design Space to make into a sticker!

TV watched record

I create one of these every quarter or so to record the series that I’ve watched on TV. This time, I’ve added a date column so I can see, at a glance, when we started watching each series. There’s already some great stuff on TV for January and we’re loving the black comedy / drama of season 2 of The Tourist. The genres are taken from IMDB.

Weekly Plans

I went for another Dutch door layout this month and used a second print out of my watercolour background to create page borders to either side. I couldn’t resist adding some more snowflake stickers.

Veganuary meal planning

My husband and I have been doing Veganuary, where you go vegan for the month of January for quite a few years now. We try to create a meal plan each week as this helps when we go shopping. We also try to do more homemade meals which are packed with nutritious veggies.

Final words…

I hope you’ve enjoyed looking at my spreads for this month. At the moment, January is proving to be more wet than snowy and our little garden is looking a bit soggy and flooded. I must say, I love pretty winter scenes with snow and sparkling frost but it’s not so much fun trying to drive in such conditions so I have mixed feelings about the weather at this time of year.

Wishing you a fantastic 2024,

fitness, goal setting, lifestyle, mindset, Planning and journaling, wellbeing

Monday Matters: 4 tips for getting started on your fitness journey and staying motivated

Posted on Dec 18, 2023Dec 17, 2023 by Laura

Many of us, as part of our new year’s resolutions each year, set goals to get fit. We start off with good intentions, joining the gym or attending exercise classes but oftentimes, our motivation isn’t maintained and by February, our workouts have dwindled and other priorities have come to the fore. As someone who has been a member of a local gym for over a year and a half, with a routine that includes at least seven workouts per week, I thought I’d share a small number of tips to help you get started with your fitness journey and maintain the motivation to keep going. So, let’s get started…

Set clear goals

Some people set the vague goal ‘get fit’ without considering what that statement means to them, how they’re going to do it and why. A much better approach is to use the S.M.A.R.T. goals system. I wrote a really comprehensive blog post on this quite a while ago which includes some useful questions to consider to get you thinking about why the goal is important, what your life will look like when you reach your goal and how you will go about working towards it. I also provide an example, which, whilst not fitness related, should help you with goal setting and goal getting.

Using your bullet journal or a dedicated notebook for the particular goal or goal getting in general can provide a useful record of your intentions, how far you’ve come so far or a space to record your experiences, successes and difficulties along the way. It can also help with accountability.

Creating a vision board which focuses on your fitness goals and includes motivational images and positive phrases or quotes can also help towards manifesting the fitness lifestyle you desire. This can be created digitally and used as your screensaver on your computer or can be paper-based and maybe created using images and words cut out of health, fitness and wellbeing magazines.

Consider any clothing and equipment required

If you’re serious about increasing your fitness levels, purchasing some dedicated workout gear and some basic equipment can really help in terms of motivation. I got a number of outfits for my gym sessions and my weekend walks and I spent quite a while choosing items in my favourite colours which fit beautifully and make me feel confident and well supported. This included sports bras for my aerobic sessions, moisture wicking tops which don’t expose my skin during downward facing dog and leggings which are fitted but not too tight as to feel uncomfortable or roll down during my exercise routines. I also got several pairs of hiking shoes for winter walks and lots of layers for warmth whilst out in the countryside. I didn’t get everything straightaway but have built up my collection based on my changing needs as I try and love different forms of exercise.

As I practise Iyengar yoga, I’ve invested in a mat, blocks, bricks and a belt for my practice. I also use some of this equipment in my Pilates and legs, bums and tums classes too so figured it was a good investment. Although the gym provides bits and pieces for the sessions, I find having my own things beneficial and it also means, if I miss a class, I can find a workout on YouTube to do some exercise at home.

Create an active lifestyle

If getting fit and staying fit are important to you, you’ll need to create an active lifestyle where exercise becomes a key part of your daily routine and something which you enjoy and thrive on. Yes, there will be days when you don’t feel like it and have to push yourself to get your exercise gear on and do a session, or times when you recognise the need to have a rest if you feel under the weather or think you might have over-exerted yourself, but on the whole, you’ll feel motivated and ready to go. A huge part of this involves choosing forms of exercise that you love and make you feel good. For example, when I started exercising, I would go to the gym at least 3 times a week to work on the cardio machines and the resistance training machines. My routine gave me a good full body workout, but I much preferred the social element of going to classes, getting chatting to various others who enjoyed exercise and fitness and developing friendships over the weeks. I now go to at least one class everyday and use the gym occasionally. I still do activities which work my whole body and I have maintained my motivation for different forms of exercise over several years now.

Sometimes, on busy days, when I’m working at the university or I have other plans, I have to cancel one or more of my classes. However, I will always make time to fit in exercise, even if it’s just 20 minutes of stretching at home or a face paced walk in nature or around the block.

Having a back-up plan for when you haven’t got time to do an hour long class or your usual hour and a half in the gym can really help and writing it down in the aforementioned notebook or journal can keep you consistent. This could include having a bank of videos saved on YouTube that you dip into or a selection of infographics showing stretch routines on Pinterest. You might also schedule in an early morning walk as part of your routine for that day or plan a long hike for the weekend when you don’t have so many other commitments.

Cultivate a positive mindset

A positive mindset can help you celebrate your progress and achievements, assess and overcome any setbacks and maintain motivation. Rather than focusing on what you didn’t achieve in a given week, celebrate the workouts you did do and how you felt afterwards. Look for signs of improved strength, flexibility and stamina and write down these wins in your notebook or journal. Draw up a list of rewards such as new fitness gear, a fun activity that you haven’t done for ages or have been meaning to try e.g. canoeing, surfing, bowling, kite flying, frisbee etc. or a pretty decorative item for your home.

“Studies have shown that if you have a ‘growth mindset’ – the belief that your abilities and skills can be improved – then you will have more effective workouts.

Put simply – it’s positive thinking. Believe you can, and you will.” (Why your mindset matters article on Metro.co.uk.)

Final words…

I hope you’ve found today’s blog post beneficial and it has given you some beginner friendly ideas for starting out on your fitness journey and keeping up the good work. When you begin, you might like to try out lots of different exercise options and then modify your routine based on your preferences. I’ve found I love dance based aerobic classes like zumba and clubbercise, but also enjoy more mindful practices like yoga and Pilates too. In the future, I would like to include more targeted upper body exercises to increase my strength in this area, but for now, I’m happy with the way things are progressing in terms of my general fitness and core strength.

Let me know in the comments if you plan on working on fitness and exercise related goals for 2024 and what you’ve taken away from today’s article to help you on your journey. Alongside your plans, you might like to consider dietary tweaks too in a way which compliments your fitness lifestyle and ensures better physical and mental health overall, for now and in the future.