wellness – Keeping it creative

Bipolar disorder, lifestyle, mental health, Planning and journaling, wellbeing, wellness

Monday Matters: Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and tips for coping day-to-day

Posted on Feb 20, 2023 by Laura

I was introduced to the highly sensitive personality type several years ago when I started a discussion on the Bipolar UK charity website. My reading since then has helped me learn more about being a HSP and the associated traits and characteristics. Much of my research has resonated and I feel that being sensitive is part of my bipolar disorder and something which requires day-to-day management, particularly during periods of mental illness. So, today, I thought I’d share some of the main signs of being a HSP and discuss ways of managing the condition.

What is a Highly Sensitive Person?

A highly sensitive person (HSP) is an individual who is thought to have an increased or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional and social stimuli. These are normal and perfectly healthy character traits which brings about a number of strengths and challenges for the individual.’ HSPs often excel creatively and can be incredibly empathetic. They also often tend to notice things that others may miss or make connections that many individuals do not see.

The term was coined by psychologist Doctor Elaine Aron in the 1990s and her research has suggested that around 15-20% of the population have the personality type. She is continuing to study Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS) now and as well as having a website dedicated to her findings, she has written a number of books and developed a self-test which can help you decide if you’re a HSP.

Signs you are a Highly Sensitive Person

Throughout your childhood, parents or teachers saw you as shy or sensitive.
At school, you became extremely anxious when taking part in timed quizzes, tests and exams. This probably caused pressure to perform and might have caused enough stress to make you perform badly or fail to achieve the expected results.
As an adult, you try to avoid potentially upsetting or overwhelming situations.
You tend to become stressed or overwhelmed when you have lots to do.
You’re generally really good at reading the emotions of others (even those you’ve never met before) e.g. when you walk into a room, you can sense the atmosphere and are able to use subtleties such as facial expressions, body language and tone of voice to establish how individuals are feeling.
After a really busy or long day, you find yourself desperate for some quiet/alone time to lower your stimulation levels, soothe your senses and to help you relax and recharge
Unexpected or loud noises really startle you and you may consider yourself to be ‘jumpy’ in general
You’re a deep thinker and spend a lot of time ‘in your head’ reflecting on anything and everything. This also means you are often prone to negative thinking and rumination (going over and over things in your head).
You always choose your clothing super carefully. Rough or restrictive items irritate you. For example, I can’t stand anything with a high neckline such as jumpers with turtle, rolled or polo neck and will always need to leave the top button of a blouse undone. I’ve also had to give away three of my jumpers recently as they were a little bit scratchy on the inside and caused me irritation.
Other sensory stimuli can cause overwhelm. This could include bright light, noisy or crowded places.
You tend to have less tolerance to pain than others.
You prefer to work in a very quiet environment which is free from distractions e.g. you have found working alone from home to be preferable to working in an open plan office.
You find any sort of change difficult or upsetting whether it is positive or negative e.g. being in a new relationship or getting a job promotion can cause extreme amounts of stress. HSPs tend to find a lot of comfort in routine and anything new or different can cause overstimulation.
Raised voices and an angry tone can cause tension and upset even if the rage isn’t aimed at you.
You tend to be a people pleaser as you don’t want to let people down. This may lead to you saying yes when you really want to say no.
When you’re feeling really hungry, you might find your emotions are affected quite strongly resulting in you getting ‘hangry’, irritable and moody. I think most people have experienced being in a bad mood when they’re haven’t eaten for ages but in a HSP, this might happen more regularly or felt more strongly. According to Dr Aron, this is because HSPs are more sensitive to spikes and dips in blood sugar levels.
Stimulants affect you more than others. You might find caffeine gives you a real buzz even if you consume very little. Alcohol may have the same effect.
You hate conflict and tried to avoid it as much as possible. This may result in you doing or saying whatever you can to keep the other person happy.
You may avoid TV shows and films which contain lots of violence because they feel too intense and leave you unsettled. As someone who loves watching crime dramas and anything psychological, this one doesn’t really apply to me but if you find yourself being triggered you will definitely want to choose your evening viewing with great care.
Any form of criticism can be distressing and often completely devastating. This can result in people pleasing, criticizing yourself first before anyone else gets the chance or simply avoided the source of criticism. This is certainly one of my main triggers and something I have struggled with from childhood and right through my adult life. It doesn’t matter if the criticism is meant to be constructive or falls in the middle of a number of compliments – I will nearly always be deeply upset and often go over things in my head again and again. Praise can leave me on a high all day but even a slight criticism can make my mood plummet in seconds and completely spoil my day or the rest of my week if I let it.
You may find yourself being deeply moved by music and other creative pieces such as works of art, poetry, drama and writing.

Ways to manage your sensitivity on a day-to-day basis

Create a set morning and evening routine Set routines provide an element of control even when everything around you is changing. For me, my morning routine includes a short journalling session, a healthy breakfast of wholewheat cereal and a piece of fruit, 15 minutes of non-fiction reading (with a cup of coffee), stretches, stepping outside to listen to the birds and check on how the garden is doing, and setting my intentions for the day. In the evening, I’ll get my PJs on, do something mindful like my jigsaw or playing a game on my tablet, then my husband and I will watch something on TV. My phone is set to automatically transition to night mode at 8.00pm and I tried to avoid using my electronic devices after this (very much a work in progress at the moment!). Just before bed, I’ll think about how my day has gone and do some reflective journalling. I’ve just bought The Five Minute journal to make my sessions more structured and I hope to write a blog post on how this is going very soon.

Make sure you get a good night’s sleep We all know that quality sleep is essential for our physical and mental health and it is especially important for HSPs. If you know that this is an area of your life you could benefit from working on, check out this post which contains an in-depth look into the topic.

Plan in some downtime HSPs can become easily overwhelmed so it’s important to schedule in regular times each day for resting and recharging. As I’ve shared in a previous post, I use the Pomodoro Technique during the day and I consider the five minute breaks to be vital for preventing overwhelm. I also schedule in longer breaks with plans for relaxing or mindful activities such as drawing or painting, listening to music or going for a walk in nature.

Create a sanctuary space in your environment which feels calm and safe This could be a comfortable chair in your living room, an outdoor location at the bottom of your garden or a spot in your conservatory. If you share your home with others, let them know how important this sanctuary is to you and why you find time and space beneficial. You might also want to consider making your home a more pleasant place to be as a whole by keeping rooms clutter free and well-organised. This is something I’m working on right now, especially in my craft room as this is where I often spend most of my day.

Eat a healthy diet and make sure you eat regularly through the day Try to include plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables each day and use the balanced plate to ensure you get enough of the different food groups. Make sure you eat regularly to avoid feeling hangry. Check out this blog post for more information on maintaining a healthy diet.

Consider trying mindful exercise Good choices of mindful exercise include Tai Chi, yoga and Pilates. I also try to stay in the moment during gym sessions by really focusing on how my body feels during each exercise. I try to schedule my gym visits when I know that it is relatively quiet (mid afternoon is a good time for me) as even with ear plugs in, I tend to get over stimulated if there’s lots going on around me. Fitting in a daily peaceful walk in nature is also really beneficial, especially if you choose spaces and times that are less busy.

Use soft lighting in your home When you’re out and about during the day, the type and strength of lighting is generally out of your control. However, in your home, you can choose soft lighting such as candles, lamps, less powerful bulbs and dimmer switches to make things more comfortable.

Identify your triggers When reading the above list, some of the points are likely to have resonated with you more than others – perhaps you found noisy crowds really difficult to cope with or maybe too much social media creates information overload or feelings of inadequacy. Whatever you particularly struggle with, make notes and then work on finding ways to combat them e.g. going shopping when it’s quieter, limiting your time online, carrying snacks for if you start to feel hungry, taking regular mind breaks etc.

Talk to a therapist Working with a therapist, specifically to develop strategies for managing your particular difficulties can really help. Try to choose someone who knows about HSPs so they can offer more specialist advice and support.

Celebrate your positive qualities Although being an HSP comes with its difficulties, it also provides gifts and real strengths which should be celebrated and put to good use. Awesome traits of the HSP can include creativity, conscientiousness, being deeply intuitive, having excellent problem solving skills being and being empathetic.

Final words…

I hope you have found today’s post interesting and informative. With approximately 15-20% of the general population being considered as Highly Sensitive, it’s likely that even if you don’t recognise yourself as a HSP, a loved one, family member, friend or work colleague may have some of the difficulties presented above and would benefit from developing strategies to manage day-to-day life. Personally, I find that I struggle a lot more during periods of low or high mood and things don’t affect me as much at times of stability. I also think that increased stress and pressure can also make things much more difficult and this is when it becomes even more important to apply the above coping strategies.

I would love to hear your thoughts on today’s topic so feel free to leave a comment below if you wish to do so.

hygge, lifestyle, Mindfulness, self care, wellbeing, wellness

Monday Matters: Simple ways to embrace the hygge lifestyle this autumn/winter time

Posted on Oct 31, 2022Oct 29, 2022 by Laura

Last week in my blog post, I wrote about the winter blues which many of us experience during the darker months of the year. As part of my practical tips, I talked about keeping yourself warm and cosy. Today, I’m going to take this a little further, looking at the concept of hygge, what it means and how we can embrace the idea to improve our wellbeing during the autumn/winter time.

What exactly is hygge?

According to Oxford dictionaries online, hygge is:

a quality of cosiness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being (regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture)

Popular Danish author Miek Wiking explains in his book:

Hygge is about an atmosphere and experience, rather than about things. It’s about being with people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down.
The Little Book of Hygge

Elements of hygge and creating what Miek describes as a ‘hyggely atmosphere’ include soft textures, warmth, natural greenery – bringing the outdoors in, candlelight, togetherness, being present, comfort, pleasure, peacefulness, sharing and showing gratitude.

Ways in which we can embrace the hygge life this autumn/winter

There are so many ways to bring hygge into your life that whole books have been written on the topic such as Miek Wiking’s Little Book of Hygge. Today, I’m going to give some decor ideas which you can put in place in your home to create an atmosphere of hygge and a number of suggestions of activities you might like to try to evoke feelings associated with hygge living. I hope these will help make your autumn and winter a wonderful time which is full of happy memories and blissful feelings.

Soft lighting

A great way to create a cosy and intimate feeling in your home is with soft lighting. This can be achieved in a number of ways e.g. by using lamps with low wattage bulbs rather than bright pendant lights, dotting candles around (battery operated if you have young children or want to place them somewhere small or in a high traffic area) or mood lights – those ones which cycle through different colours are nice. As well as my little battery-operated set of three candles, we recently invested in a string of starburst lights and we have them hanging from a hook on the ceiling in the corner of our dining area – they look fantastic and are great for ambience when we’re enjoying a homecooked meal.

Chunky knits

Adding chunky knits in neutral colours such as cream, taupe, pale greys, ivory and of white in the living area of your home (and maybe your bedroom) helps to create a feeling of warmth and can be especially useful on chilly evenings. A selection of blankets and throws in a wicker basket or positioned on the arms of a sofa looks great and are close at hand when needed. Choosing different textures also makes for a tactile experience too. We like to have plenty of cushions in a range of different fabrics on our chair and sofa to make them super comfortable.

Greenery and nature

Bringing the outdoors in is another aspect of instilling a hygge vibe in your home. This can be achieved in a number of ways. Collecting nature items on a woodland or forest walk can be great fun – this could include conkers, acorns, pine cones, colour changing fallen leaves, sprigs of holly, spruce tree branches etc. When you get them home, I recommend leaving them giving them a gentle shake outside and leaving them on a white sheet of paper for a while so that any residing creatures can escape.

Displaying photos of scenery, wildlife, yourself and your family out and about in natural environments can remind you of happy times outdoors. You might choose an image from one of your favourite walks, stunning landscapes e.g. hills or mountains, waterfalls and rivers or close ups of nature (macro shots) such as berries hanging from a tree branch, interesting fungi or lichen on a tree etc.

There’s often home decor made from nature items available in home and lifestyle stores which can be picked up relatively cheaply, For example we have a glittery hedgehog made from pine cones and a reindeer which has bark attached to its front and ears. They both really twinkle in candlelight too!

And, if you spend a lot of time on your computer, tablet or phone a lovely idea is to choose a natural scene as your wallpaper or nature items as your screen lock or homepage. You can also sometimes get notebooks with patterned covers which would look great on your desk. This could be winter scenes, cute wildlife e.g. hedgehogs, squirrels and deer or flora such as poinsettias, holly or seasonal trees.

Cosy nook

Most Danish homes will have a cosy nook as a space for relaxation. This is usually somewhere comfortable to sit which has all of the hyggely elements – soft lighting in the form of candles or lamps, blankets and cushions, natural elements – the Danes love wood, tactile elements and a good book or magazine to read. In our living room, we have a gorgeous, swivel chair in a dark pink, soft velvet which is next to the window. There’s a table there with a cute hedgehog coaster on for a hot drink and a selection of books and magazines. We also have blankets nearby on our settee although it’s rarely cold when we sit there as it’s right next to the radiator. Can you think of a place in your homer where you could create a similar cosy nook? What would be your comforting essentials?

Indulgent foods and drinks

Although I recommend a diet which is balanced, varied and on the whole healthy, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the odd treat and as pleasure is another element of the hygge life, I recommend indulging every now and then. Trying new things e.g. different flavours will add to the experience. Why not sample a flavoured hot chocolate such as mint or salted caramel, choose a previously untried dessert from your local supermarket or bakery to enjoy with family or friends or just on your own when you’re relaxing, or pick out a different nice sounding coffee blend instead of your usual? Or, you could have a go at creating a dessert using a recipe you found on Pinterest. I know that my husband and I often tried out new main courses but rarely do homemade puddings. Cooking can be a great way of spending fun and quality time together too!

Togetherness

Family and spending quality time with them is very important to the Danes. The same goes for good friends too. Being hyggely is all about getting together in the home and doing things either as a family on a small scale, extended family or a group of friends. I have lots of ideas for doing this but here are a few to get you started:

movie night – pick one of your favourites that you’ve seen a few times so that if you start chatting it won’t matter
tv series binge watch – ask everyone to bring a tasty snack
games evening – Scrabble, Jenga, Monopoly, Cluedo, Kerplunk, dominoes, card games etc. depending on the ages and abilities of the participants
afternoon tea – think tiny sandwiches and mini cakes along with a selection of warm drinks
candlelit dinner – intimate dinner for two or with the kids, just make sure you ban mobile phones at the table so the conversation flows!
jigsaw puzzle – we like 1000 piece ones which take a while and they’re big enough for more than one person to work on at once
pajama party – this could include lots of decadent foods (everyone could bring something to share) and hot chocolate (with a choice of toppings) or beauty treatments such as face packs, manicures and foot spas.
holiday preparation – if you’ve booked a holiday somewhere else in the country or abroad, a nice thing to do is get a feel for the place before you go. This could include finding out about things to do there, places to visit, popular food stuffs, traditions and the language. If you’re heading overseas, you might even watch a film or TV series which is set in your chosen location.
Photo memories night – why not spend an evening reminiscing over previous times spent together by looking through old albums or journals?

Whichever kind of get together you choose, it should be really informal if you want it to be a hyggely occasion. The Danes prefer slow and simple living, anything flashy is completely frowned upon!

Showing gratitude

Being grateful for all that you have is, according to Miek, another key element of hygge. Why not start a gratitude practice where you spend 10 minutes each morning or evening considering what you’re thankful for. Try to choose experiences and feelings as well as material things, for example, the chance to sit out in the sunshine and listen to the birds in your garden, a text message from a friend asking how you are and if you’d like to meet for coffee next week, a riveting TV drama series that you’re hooked on.

Final words…

I hope you have enjoyed reading my ideas for creating a hygge atmosphere in your home. I haven’t read Miek’s Little Book of Hygge yet but it’s on my TBR list. I noticed he’s also recently released a new book called My Hygge Home – How to make home your happy place and if it’s of the standard of his earlier titles, I’m sure this is well worth a read too. Let me know in the comments if hygge sounds like a feeling you would love to have in your home and which of the ideas you would be interesting in trying.

Until next time, lots of hyggely hugs,

depression, depression management, life hacks, mental health, self care, wellbeing, wellness

Monday Matters: 7 practical ways to combat the winter blues

Posted on Oct 24, 2022Oct 23, 2022 by Laura

This morning I got up earlier than usual as I wanted to get a few things done before heading to do some work at the university. It was still quite dark as sunrise was not until 7.43am today and I switched on a little set of battery-operated candles I’ve recently bought (a bargain at £7.99 for three at various heights and including batteries from Festive Lights Store on Amazon) to bring some gentle light into the bedroom. They’re dinky enough to have on my bedside cabinet so are within easy reach – no having to pull back the duvet for me!

Although I’d enjoyed a good night’s sleep and managed to rouse myself pretty easily, I’ve noticed that I don’t jump out of bed raring to go like I did during the spring and summer months. I think many of us will acknowledge that we find it more difficult to get out of bed on dark mornings and, depending on our occupations or daily schedules we might also find that the lack of exposure to natural daylight during the autumn / winter months can dampen our mood somewhat. Even if we haven’t been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD for short, rather aptly), most of us will agree that limited sunlight has some sort of effect on our health and wellbeing. In today’s blog post, I want to share some practical tips for combating what I’m going to call the ‘winter blues’ and the associated symptoms which may be present at this time of year and continue until springtime.

Signs of the winter blues

The symptoms of ‘winter blues’ will generally be quite mild. They may have an impact on your life, to a small extent, but should not make your days feel like a constant struggle. Please seek medical advice if you are displaying many of the signs of depression as you may need professional help. Signs of ‘winter blues’ which are commonly experienced by individuals include:

being less active than usual
sleeping for longer and still struggling to get up in the morning
showing signs of lethargy – lacking energy and feeling sleepy during the day
having poorer concentration skills than usual (you might be easily distracted, tasks might take you much longer to complete or you might find them more difficult, you might also struggle to attentively listen to someone when they’re talking or not fully comprehend what they’re saying)
having an increased appetite (often craving carbohydrates such as cakes, sweets and biscuits) which may cause weight gain
finding yourself wanting more stimulating drinks such as coffee or energy drinks because you feel like you need a caffeine boost
being less enthusiastic about activities you usually enjoy
rejecting social invitations (e.g. due to lack of energy or your body telling you that you need to stay at home and chillax. Some people will say they like to hibernate for the winter!)

What’s the difference between Winter blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Winter blues:

not a clinical diagnosis
a mental state which comprises of feelings of sadness and lower energy levels during the coldest and darkest months of the year (when compared to the lighter, brighter, warmer and sunnier months)
doesn’t have much impact on day-to-day functioning (you can still carry out usual tasks or you can go to work or school as normal)
generally happens in the winter time and possibly some of autumn too
can be managed by making a few lifestyle changes such as those suggested below

Seasonal Affective Disorder:

a clinical diagnosis made by a medical professional such as your GP or your psychiatrist
affects day-to-day functioning and can make life a struggle usually during the autumn and winter months but can also occur in the summertime – S.A.D. has a seasonal pattern of some sort
takes its toll on many aspects of life including relationships, work, school or home life, sense of worth and sleep patterns
sometimes referred to as ‘winter depression’
requires professional help such as a talking therapy or medication such as anti-depressants

Practical tips to help you cope with the winter blues

Try to stay active Exercise is known to boost your mood so it’s important to stay active even if you feel like curling up under a blanket or sitting in front of the fire for the day. Doing a workout each day will also help to improve your energy levels during the daytime and make you tired in the evening so you can enjoy a better night’s sleep. This could be a 15-30 minute walk, a gym class such as Zumba, spinning or flow yoga or a home-based exercise such as following a routine on YouTube. Anything which gets your heart pumping is good. You could even put on some music and dance around the room!

Get outside Going out for some fresh air, especially on bright days can help you get more light. Taking a walk in nature e.g. in woodland or your local park can be particularly mood boosting. I like to look for signs of autumn or winter such as changing leaves, glistening spiders webs, amazing fungi, conkers acorns and beech nut shells, wildlife such as jays, squirrels and nuthatches, brightly coloured berries, morning frosts, snowfall, icicles, early flowers such as snowdrops and crocuses. Just make sure you wrap up really warm on particularly cold days – remember there’s no bad weather, just bad clothing!

Eat healthily At this time of year, it can be tempting to comfort eat high calorie, sugary or fatty foods to give yourself a quick energy boost or to try to make yourself feel better in some way. Most of us crave carbs during the colder months and this often takes the form of junk foods, fatty snacks such as crisps, biscuits and cakes or high volumes of less healthy ‘white’ foodstuffs such as white bread, white pasta, white rice and white potatoes. However, it’s always important to try to maintain a balanced diet for a healthy body and mind (including stable mood). You can still eat foods which are high in carbohydrates but make sure they’re ones which are better for you. Examples of foods which are more healthy but also carb rich include quinoa, brown rice, buckwheat, pulses such as kidney beans, lentils and chickpeas, wholegrain oats, bananas, sweet potatoes, squashes, apples, carrots, broccoli and avocado.

During the autumn and winter seasons, we love to create homemade soups, stews, risottos and vegetable bakes. We also create lots of dishes with pulses such as lentils, beans and chickpeas. These are also comforting and warming foods but without a high calorie content. If we find recipes online, we tend to modify them in some way, so I type them out with the changes we made and add them to our recipe folder. We’ve found some really great veggie and vegan dishes this Autumn and most of them are pretty quick to make.

Keep yourself warm Research shows that feeling cold (and wet if you get caught in the rain) can cause your mood to dip so it’s important to try to keep yourself warm and cosy. With the current increasing energy prices, I appreciate that you might feel that this is very difficult and expensive at the moment. Try to make good use of blankets in the home and, when you can, get yourself moving to generate some heat in your body. I tend to get really cold when I’m sat at my laptop for long periods of time and in the past, I’ve resorted to a small heater but now I’m trying to remember to get up and move about at regular intervals. When you go outside, add lots of layers, hats, scarfs and gloves. You can also get thermal tops and leggings to wear under your clothes. I got mine from an outdoor clothing shop and they’re great for really cold days when I’m going to be outside for long periods of time.

Stay social It might be tempting to stay at home all the time during the dark and cold months but isolation isn’t good for your mental health. Why not meet a friend at a cafe and enjoy an autumn or winter special drink such as a Pumpkin spice latte, Apple crisp macchiato, Caramel apple spice, Peppermint Mocha, Gingerbread latte or Black Forest Hot chocolate? Or how about arranging a meal out in a traditional pub with homecooked food and maybe even an open fire? Try to say yes to some of the events you are invited to, even if you don’t feel like going, you may find that you really enjoy it when you get there.

Try something new Trying out a new hobby or having a go at some autumn or winter crafts can stimulate the mind, provide new and interesting challenges, give a really sense of achievement and boost your self-esteem and confidence. Mindful activities can also be great for relieving stress, reducing negative self-talk and generally creating a more positive mindset. I picked up a winter fox mini cross stitch kit and a ‘make your own reindeer’ felt sewing kit at Hobbycraft last week for less than £7 and they’ll keep me busy for hours. Also, when I’ve finished them, I can add them to my Christmas displays each year and remember what fun I had making them. There are lots of autumn and winter craft ideas on Pinterest too – why not create a board full of them and pick something different which requires minimal materials and will make a lovely display for your home or room?

I’m still working on developing my drawing and watercolour skills and something I want to try this year is sketching and painting different squashes. I’m then going to use the designs for my November theme. My husband and I have also enjoyed completing Christmas doodle challenges in the past too and we might give it a go again this year. I’m also doing December Daily for the second time – I’ve bought my album, page protectors and Christmas papers and stickers as well. In the new year, I’ll probably still have quite a bit of journalling to finish off and I’m hoping to finally get some of the jigsaws done which I’ve had for a while.

Boost your vitamin D levels Some of you will be aware that the biggest natural source of vitamin D is sunlight. It’s no surprise then, that our levels tend to dip in the darker autumn / winter months. Deficiency in this essential vitamin can cause fatigue, symptoms of depression and muscle pain so if you find yourself struggling with the winter blues, it’s important to find ways to raise your levels. When the weather allows, try to spend some time each day in the sunshine (about 30 minutes is good). This could mean going out for a walk, wrapping up and sitting in the garden to enjoy a tea or coffee, or working next to a brightly lit window at home or in the office. Eating foods which are rich in vitamin D can also help. Fatty fish and seafood are one of the best sources but if you’re vegetarian or vegan like my husband and I are, you’ll find most plant-based milk alternatives, orange juice, some vegetarian or vegan yogurts, many ready-to-eat cereals and tofu are usually fortified with vitamin D. Finally, if you still think you could do with a top up, as a last resort, you could also take a vitamin D supplement, especially on dark and dismal days.

Final words…

If after reading today’s post, you identify with many of the symptoms of S.A.D. in the link, I recommend seeking professional health from your GP (or psychiatrist if you are under a mental health team). As I explained earlier, Seasonal Affective Disorder can be quite severe and can seriously impact on your day-to-day functioning. Also, because it can occur from early autumn right through to the springtime, potentially it could last for over five months, which, as I know well myself, is a long time to be struggling with depression for.

For those of you that relate to the ‘winter blues’ symptoms, I hope you will consider trying out some of the self-management suggestions and that they help you to cope more effectively. If you have any further suggestions or have tried and tested methods that you personally use, it would be great if you could share them in the comments to support others who find this time of year a little challenging.

compassion, lifestyle, meditation, mental health, Mindfulness, self care, wellbeing, wellness

Monday Matters: Wheel Of Wellness – Spiritual

Posted on Sep 26, 2022Sep 26, 2022 by Laura

This week, in my series on The Wheel Of Wellness, I’ll be looking at the Spiritual segment. This section, which is the last to be covered, is all about finding life’s meaning and purpose whilst developing understanding of your personal values, beliefs and morals and using these to guide your actions and inform your way of living. Spiritual wellness does not necessarily involve being a deeply religious person or believing in the supernatural, rather, it is related to the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.

A focus on spirituality involves learning to be more self-aware and recognising our existence in time and space. It’s also about becoming more familiar with our personal beliefs and values and how they affect the way we live and what we see as our purpose in life.

We all have a spirit within us which is constantly guiding us, looking after us and showing us the way to go. When we start to tune in to and listen to our inner voice, we’re using our spirit, and this is what can help us to lead a life in keeping with our wants, desires and passions. Connecting with our spiritual side can also help us to feel happier and healthier which I’m sure is something we all want.

Ways in which you can connect to your spiritual self

There are a number of ways in which you can really tune in to your spirit and think about what you really want for yourself and your life.

Quieten the mind – meditation is a great practice to develop but other mindful practices include writing in a daily journal, doing relaxing breathing exercises, taking a walk in nature, doing a meditative activity such as drawing, painting or colouring in, stretching exercises such as yoga, Pilates or mindful movements and praying.

Practise gratitude – identify a number of positives in your life each day, expressing and reflecting on them

Take a Mindful approach – focusing your awareness on the present moment, whilst calmly acknowledging and accepting your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations is at the core of mindfulness as is a great way of becoming more in tune with your spiritual side.

Consider your personal values – values identify what is important to you in your life and how you wish to interact with the world. When your actions align with your core values you will immediately start to feel more content, fulfilled and satisfied. To help you do this, I’ve created a Pinterest board full of links to core values lists and related activities – try scanning the pages to see what resonates with you. You’ll see so many different ideas and the ones which you choose to add to your personal list will influence your decisions and life choices in many ways including:

your job or career path
your hobbies and pastimes
where you live
how you manage your money
your friendships, romantic partners and relationships
where you shop
compromises we are willing to make
how we parent our children
the ways in which we treat ourselves (both good and bad)

Whilst I was researching this blog post, I came across lots of worksheets, workbooks and exercises to try which focused on your values. One of these invited you to split your values into ‘Valuing myself’, ‘Valuing my relationships’ and ‘Valuing my work’. I had a quick go at this below but added ‘my life’ to the first category:

Valuing myself and my life

compassion, creativity, enthusiasm, open-mindedness, acceptance (self and others), creativity, happiness, health (emotional, physical and mental), learning, intelligence resilience, fun, wellbeing, respect for animals

Valuing my relationships

loyalty, thoughtfulness, love, playfulness, understanding, usefulness and humour

Valuing my work

contribution, commitment, professionalism, achievement, work/life balance

Spend time reflecting on your beliefs – these may have a religious focus or might be related to your core values. Examples of non-religious beliefs could be:

family comes first
we must take care of our planet
honesty is the best policy
everything happens for a reason
work/life balance is a priority
I should always try my best
community service is a central part of life
the different phases of the moon have particular influences on my life
breaking a mirror gives you seven years bad luck

Think about your dreams – not the ones you had in bed over the past few weeks, but your deepest desires and wishes. As part of this, you could do some journalling or have a go at creating a vision board. Afterwards, you might spend time reflecting on small but positive life changes that you could make right now to help you work towards these dreams.

Final thoughts…

Cultivating spirituality has many benefits for your physical and mental health and wellbeing. Getting to know your true self can help you begin to live in alignment with your core values and beliefs which is fundamental for a long and happy life. Psychologically, spiritual practices can develop your understanding of your inner self, leading to a greater sense of purpose. They can help you to think positively and clearly, lower your risk of stress, anxiety and depression and generally give you a better outlook on life. Physically, being more connected to your spiritual side can improve your immune system, help you to fight off illnesses, lower your blood pressure and reduce your risk of heart disease and stroke. It can also help you to make better choices in terms of diet and find other ways of looking after your body and your mind, for example by exercising regularly and finding time to relax. The peace and calmness we invite into our lives can also help us to get a restful night’s sleep.

I hope you have found today’s post useful and have enjoyed learning about The Wheel Of Wellness over the last few months. I would love to hear about your hopes, dreams and ambitions for the future and the ways in which you think you can bring these into fruition. In keeping with having an open mind, I’m currently learning about the magic of using the phases of the moon as a tool to develop self-awareness, self-care, nourishment and empowerment to live with purpose and to manifest my deepest wants and desires for life. You’ll see in my next blog post, in which I share my October bullet journal spreads, that this has inspired my theme for next month and provided me with lots of ideas.

lifestyle, mental health, wellbeing, wellness

Monday Matters: Wheel of Wellness – Emotional

Posted on Sep 5, 2022Sep 5, 2022 by Laura

This week, as part of my series on the Wheel of Wellness, I’ll be covering the emotional segment. This section of the wheel is all about your feelings and includes how well you are able to identify, manage and engage with your emotions and how successfully you can deal with any emotional challenges which arise from time to time.

In the Oxford Dictionary online, emotion is defined in two ways:

a strong feeling derived from one’s circumstances, mood or relationships with others.
instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.

Assessing your emotional wellness

The following are some signs of good emotional wellbeing that you can use to assess your current health in the area.

you feel good about yourself and who you are
you have feelings of contentment most of the time
you treat others well, showing them compassion and understanding (if you do this, you are most likely to treat yourself well, if you are critical of others, you will likely have a tendency to be harsh and critical towards yourself)
you feel you have a good support network e.g. you have friends / family or colleagues that you are able to open up to and a sense that there are people in your life who care about you
you are able to rest and relax (including being able to wind down for good sleep)
you are able to assert yourself, recognising that your opinions are valid and being able to say no when you need to without feeling guilty
you consider yourself to be someone who manage stress well
awareness of the main signs of poor emotional health – anger (which presents itself in various ways, including irritability, short temper, being argumentative), feeling hopeless (feeling low / depressed, helpless, worthless, seeing small things as ‘the end of the World’, not being able to see things are capable of change etc), losing interest in activities you used to enjoy, becoming socially distant, poor levels of productivity, blaming others for your mistakes and failings and repeatedly having trouble in relationships (friends, family and romantic partners)
flexibility – you are able to change and adapt well to different circumstances
you are able to name and embrace all of your emotions (such as sadness, anger, joy, fear, excitement etc) as a natural part of who you are (rather than suppressing or ignoring them
you lead a purposeful life (do you feel that you use your strengths to your advantage to make a difference?) (see my post on Occupational wellness for more on this)
you are grateful for many things in your life (particularly for people and situations in your life rather than just your possessions)
you value your experiences more than you value your possessions
you regularly engage in self-care activities such as doing activities which make you happy, using breathing techniques to help you stay calm or calm yourself when anxious, practising mindfulness, journalling about how you are feeling, showing yourself plenty of compassion, developing a regular meditation practice, scheduling ‘me time’ into your day, do something altruistic and explore how you feel as a result.

Some ideas for improving your emotional health

Make sure you’ve got the basics right – eat healthily with occasional treats, get enough quality sleep, move your body on a daily basis and use vices in moderation (e.g. alcohol, social media, junk food etc). If you think you need to make changes in one or more of these areas, try setting yourself small, achievable targets and celebrate all of your achievements.
Try CBT. If you think you need to learn more about your emotions and how they affect you, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is really beneficial for many people. There are plenty of books on the subject but it’s best if you work through your particular issues with a trained therapist.
Make use of self help resources. A book that I’m currently reading which I’m finding super useful is ‘Why has Nobody Told Me This Before’ by Dr Julie Smith. I spend around half an hour reading each morning after breakfast and I always have a Mildliner highlighter pen at hand to mark up anything which especially resonates with me. The website https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ has lots of resources which might prove to be useful too.
Develop a daily reflective journalling habit – spending 5 or 10 minutes each evening recording how you feel your day went is a great way to record events and interactions with others and explore how they affected you emotionally. When you’ve finished writing, spend a few minutes considering what you wrote thinking about the decisions you made, whether the experience was positive or negative, what you can learn from what happened and what you might do differently next time.
Become familiar with ‘Unhelpful thinking styles’ and use them to identify and rationalise particular thoughts you have. Type the above phrase into Google or YouTube to learn about them and consider which particularly resonate with you. Once you know about them, you’ll start to recognise them cropping up in your day-to-day life. You can then begin to challenge them and create more helpful alternatives (a trusted friend or therapist can help with this too).
Be realistic when you’re not feeling 100% – There will be certain times of the year when you’re not feeling quite yourself, maybe you’re feeling under the weather, perhaps you’re stressed out at work or you’re planning an event or holiday which is taking up lots of your time and making you feel super busy. Or, like me, you might have a mood disorder which causes you periods of difficulty. Whatever the cause, it’s important to look after yourself during these times (ramp up the self care and self compassion) and definitely lower the expectations you place on yourself. Also, don’t be afraid to say no if you feel like something will be too much for you right now.
Start a self-care routine for your emotions – this could include meditation, mindful movements or stillness, yoga, Pilates, stretches or different breathing exercises to calm your body and your mind. If you keep a bullet journal like me, a great idea is to create a page of self-care ideas (with pictures/doodles if you want) as a reminder of all of the things you can try.
Remember some things are outside of your control – there are many things in life that happen to you which you can’t change e.g. the loss of a loved one, a global pandemic, a health diagnosis etc, but we can choose how we respond to those circumstances, e.g. by being kind, self-compassionate, hopeful and accepting.
Reach out – if you’re feeling lonely, down or isolated, seek out supportive family members, friends, colleagues, online or in person support groups to let people know that you are struggling. Also, try to find out what is going on in your local community so you can seek out social connections. If the thought of social interactions makes you feel anxious right now, try to choose one of the options that feels easiest such as inviting a friend over for coffee or chatting to someone via text message or on the phone.
Set clear boundaries and learn to say no. If you say yes to things that you really don’t feel like doing or you don’t have time for, it can lead to feelings of anger, resentment or overwhelm. In her book which I mentioned above, she explains about ‘people pleasing’ “We say yes when actually what we want and need is to say no. We feel resentful of being taken advantage of but unable to change it by asking for anything different. On the other hand, having clear boundaries makes you feel in control and is a way of showing yourself respect. Being assertive can be difficult for some of us, especially during periods of mental illness, so it’s a good idea to develop your skills when your mood is stable. Only say yes to what matters to you the most such as a get together with close family and friends, learning opportunities or new challenges at work which will further develop your skills or increase your knowledge (but not too far from your comfort zone!). There’s a wealth of information online about assertiveness (some better than others) so if you need help in this area or want to know more about what it means to be assertive, try checking out NHS resources such as this one which includes a very useful download, worksheets and information on www.getselfhelp.co.uk and this article from lifehack.org. Again, qualified CBT therapists can help with assertiveness too.
Read up on emotional resilience – emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to stressful situations and cope with life’s ups and downs. You can learn about it and develop the associated skills in books, online, with a therapist or through doing a course at a local recovery college like I did.
Go outside – studies have shown that being in nature has powerful effects on our mind, body and soul. There’s lots of ways to fit in some time outdoors including taking a walk in your lunchbreak, enjoying your morning coffee in the garden or wandering through your local park or woodland at the end of a busy day.

Final words…

Thank you for taking the time to read today’s blog post. I hope you have found it useful and are thinking about trying some of the ideas I mentioned. Let me know in the comments if you think your emotional health is quite strong or if you feel it’s an area you need to work on. As always, if you have any questions or anything to add, please do get in touch.