Laura

lifestyle, mental health, wellbeing, wellness

Monday Matters: 6 Ways to Ensure a Positive Social Media Experience

Posted on Jul 20, 2020Jul 17, 2020 by Laura

Photo credit: Georgia de Lotz for Unsplash

The negative effects of social media are well documented and there’s a lot of evidence from a variety of studies about it being detrimental to our wellbeing causing issues such as anxiety, depression, loneliness and low self esteem. However, I believe it is perfectly possible to have a positive and rewarding experience online if you moderate the time you spend and are mindful of how you engage. Today’s Monday Matters post focuses on things to consider and strategies to adopt to help you get benefit from social media whilst sheltering yourself from the more negative aspects of exposure.

Limit your time

I think most of us will agree that we spend far too long on social media each day and that a lot of that time is taken over by mindless scrolling. A study I found online suggested that 30 minutes a day is ample time to spend catching up on various platforms yet a different study found that the average is nearly two hours! If you think social media is taking up too much of your precious time then it probably is and it might be a good idea to schedule a specific time to check in. So, for example, you could decide 6.30pm until 7pm is a good time but make sure you check in again and decide if this amount and time is working for you.

It’s also a good idea to avoid social media later in the evening as it can affect the quality of your sleep. The light on your phone or tablet has been shown to reduce melatonin, the hormone that controls your sleep cycle. Also, some online content can cause something called ‘cognitive arousal’ which basically means you get wound up when you should be winding down!

Try turning off your notifications

A good idea for controlling the time spent is to turn off your notifications for the different platforms, as I find, when they pop up on your phone or tablet, particularly if the notification is accompanied by a sound, that’s often all that’s needed to send you down the social media rabbit hole! For example, I recently changed my notifications for YouTube as I was getting so many messages about new videos on channels I subscribe to and suggested videos I should watch that I was totally developing FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) syndrome. Now, the only time I’m notified is if someone likes or loves a comment I left or replies to it. I may even turn the likes and loves off at some point too!

A screen shot of my current YouTube settings

Be wary of emotive language

Since starting my own business, I’ve become super aware of the use of emotive language to get you to click. You may be familiar with ‘click bait’ which can be defined as ‘content whose main purpose is to attract attention and encourage visitors to click on a link to a particular web page’ but there are more subtle ways of getting you to click too. Just two minutes on Pinterest and you will see pins containing phrases such as ‘Must have…’ ‘…you’ll definitely want to bookmark’, ‘…beyond brilliant’, ‘How I tripled my blog traffic…’, ’31 lazy ways…’ etc etc. Again, this plays on your FOMO to make you want to click and save the pins for later. I wrote a blog post about avoiding Pinterest some while ago and my time away was due to the fact that I felt it was having a detrimental effect on my wellbeing and making me feel really overwhelmed.

I’ve recently become really aware of how my local newspaper use language on Twitter to get you to check out their webpage. A lot of their tweets start with ‘Shocking’, ‘Exclusive’, ‘Disgusting’ and other similar emotive words and when you click to find out more, it’s just the same old stuff that you really didn’t need to know about. I know they have to sell their stories, but again, it’s another way of getting you to spend time interacting with content that has the potential to wind you up or makes you feel overly anxious or get you feeling down about the state of the world or your locality.

We can all do without too much negative press right now and in my opinion, reducing your exposure or at least being wary of its affect should be a top priority, particularly if you are prone to anxiety or depression or are currently struggling with your mental health. There are a lot of articles online and in magazines about the affect of watching too much Coronavirus news and The WHO (World Health Organisation) have some great advice related to social media and news in relation to mental health.

Be mindful of your personal experiences

To have a happy social media experience, I think it’s really important that you are mindful of how much time you are spending and the effect that it has on your mood and your general productivity levels. If you often find yourself feeling a little bit rubbish, lacking in motivation, tired or completely down, then you may need to evaluate what you’re looking at and why it’s making you feel like this. For example, if looking at beautiful bullet journal spreads on Instagram leaves you feeling like your own BuJo is completely inadequate and that you are rubbish at drawing, lacking in creativity or doing it all wrong, then maybe it’s time to take a break or stop the mindless scrolling – remember the most popular content will be at the top of your feed and as the platform is mainly about aesthetic beauty you’re going to see flawless images which are likely to be highly edited. On the other hand, if you are left feeling highly motivated, creative or on a high, then you might consider social media to be a good mood booster and a wonderful way of helping you to be productive.

Stop the comparison

We all have issues with comparing ourselves to others at times, often in an unfavourable way, but social media often makes things worse, particularly for young people. Not only are you exposed to a huge volume of information from different posters but what you’re seeing is often only half of the picture (or maybe even less) and often heavily edited to show things in the best light. The ability to follow, like and love may also contribute to feelings of self doubt or worthlessness as you reflect on why others have more followers than you or why some friends are getting more likes and loves.

In order to break the comparison habit I think the first step is to recognise that you are doing it and then to realise that it isn’t helpful and is likely to be having a really big effect on you mentally and not in a good way either. When you begin to realise this, you can start to make changes to what you choose to view and your perception of the content that you consume.

A lot of what is presented on social media is advertising and presents an amazing lifestyle, glossy hair and flawless make up coupled with a perfect body, bang on trend outfits and stylish accessories to match. The danger with this is that we start to beat ourselves up as we don’t meet the same standards. What I try to do is reflect on how ads work and remember that they are very good at persuading you to want what is presented and feel that you are incomplete until you have it. I like to assess how clever they are and how far from reality they are. I’m not saying that I don’t get swayed by adverts, we all do but I think being more mindful helps.

It’s also good to remember that what you see online is in digital format and is often altered using filters, photo editors and Photoshop. In fact, the photograph may have been taken literally hundreds of times until the right angle and best lighting conditions are achieved too. So basically, what you are seeing is not really as it seems. The people in these images may seem full of confidence and joy but underneath they might be struggling with lack of self esteem and loneliness or finding aspects of their life really difficult right now.

Evaluate what you get out of being present on social media

There are lots of benefits of using social media such as keeping in touch with friends, being part of an online community, learning new things, hearing a range of perspectives on a topic, keeping you informed, getting help and advice, and fun or entertainment. In fact, being present on social media has been shown to help people feel more connected and useful as they feel they are positively impacted on the lives of others. It’s a good idea to sit down and think about what you personally get out of your experience and the impact it has on your life.

If there are particular apps that you feel aren’t doing you any favours, don’t be frightened to delete them or take a break until you are in a better headspace or in a different mood. I know that my social media experience depends a lot on how I’m coping day-to-day and if I’m struggling with anxiety and depression, I tend to keep my distance from Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest as they only make me feel worse. When I’m feeling happy and in a good place mentally, I enjoy looking at a range of content and it makes me feel motivated to make changes and improve my life. However, I still need to be mindful as I can start to feel overwhelmed and try to change too much all at once in a bid to get a perfect life (which by the way is completely unobtainable)!

Final thoughts

Social media plays a big part in our modern lives and there’s no changing that. Having a happy experience is all about developing your awareness of the positive and negative aspects and being mindful of how your time online is affecting your wellbeing. I hope today’s post has given you some things to think about and will bring about some changes for the good if you feel that is what is required.

Happy surfing!

TN journaling, Traveler's Notebook, Traveler's Notebook Spreads

How I document my wildlife and nature finds in my Traveler’s Notebook

Posted on Jul 15, 2020Jun 23, 2022 by Laura

My current insert for the Summer period – official Webster’s Pages design

Last week, I took a walk to a local nature reserve called Tunstall Hills. It takes less than ten minutes to get there on foot and so I was able to leave the car behind. I didn’t take my DSLR with me but did manage to use my phone to take a few pics so I could identify some of the butterflies I spotted whilst I was there by using an identifier when I got back home. I recorded one of my finds in my Traveler’s Notebook and thought I would share the pages with you in case you fancy doing something similar in your journal.

The first page is simply a record of my little trip out and an observational drawing I did (developing my drawing skills in still one of my goals for this month too). Obviously, I didn’t draw it in the field as it landed for about five seconds, just long enough for me to get a quick snap but I copied from a photograph I found on this website into a piece of paper I cut from my sketchbook. I’m quite pleased with how it turned out although I think I need to work on my techniques for using coloured pencils!

The second page is a couple of photos from the aforementioned website and some information I collected The Wildlife Trusts website. I have a Standard Sized TN page template set up on MS Word and I add the photos and the information to that and then print it off. I identified the little brown butterfly as a ringlet. I wish I could have captured how velvety it looked!

I hope you’ve enjoyed seeing my nature journaling. I plan to do a lot more in the future and will definitely be doing more observational drawing as I really enjoyed it.

Until next time,

Bullet journaling, compassion, mental health, Planning and journaling, wellbeing

Monday Matters: 8 wonderful ways to practise self love and some supportive BuJo spreads for you to create

Posted on Jul 13, 2020Jul 13, 2020 by Laura

There are lots of articles around at the moment about reaching out and being kind and supportive towards other people but it also really important to be good to yourself too. Self love is essential to our mental health and wellbeing and it should also be made a priority if we want to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Today’s Monday Matters post features a collection of eight ways in which you can practise self love and includes some ideas for bullet journal spreads with this focus in mind.

Start and end the day in the right way

No matter how busy you are, try to find the time to check in with yourself first thing in the morning and last thing before you wind down for bed. Tell yourself something positive before you start your day. Look in the mirror, and say something encouraging, for example, “you are awesome and don’t you forget it!”, “let’s do this!”, “today is going to be a great day” – I guarantee it will make you smile. In the evening, when reflecting on your day, think of something you did well that makes you proud – better still write it down in your bullet journal so you can look back at it some other time. Celebrate your wins whether big or small.

Stop comparing yourself to others

You are completely unique. There’s no one on earth that is quite like you, so stop comparing yourself with other people and appreciate how special you are and be grateful for everything you have. Take time to think about all of your qualities and if you find yourself struggling and in need of some help, ask your friends and love ones to tell you what they like about you. And remember, what you see on social media, is just the best snippets of someone’s life, an edited version that doesn’t show their bad hair days, the massive mistakes they made in their bullet journal before they developed their IG worthy spread, the times when they could barely drag themselves out of bed and the days when everything went wrong and they could have cried and probably did.

Practise self care

In my Wellness Recovery Action Plan series, I talked about making a long list of all of the things that you can do that you enjoy and that make you feel good. I came up with a list of over 100 activities including painting my nails, going out for dinner, looking at photos from happy times, flying a kite and going for a walk along the beach. Some of the ideas take minutes, whilst others are great for an hour or an afternoon of ‘me time’. I try to make sure I do at least 1 thing of my list each day and often do several. It’s not self indulgent, it’s just one of the ways I look after myself and keep myself mentally well.

Forgive yourself

Things can and will go wrong for you at times and you will make mistakes. You might do something that makes you feel really embarrassed or you might say something unkind to a friend or loved one in the heat of the moment. Accept that you are only human and that no-one is perfect, including you. Show the same kind of compassion to yourself as you would to someone else who got something wrong or is ashamed of their behaviour. The best thing to do is forgive yourself and then reflect on and learn from your mistakes in a kind way that enables you to use them to help you grow as a person.

Watch how you talk to yourself either out loud or in your head

On the subject of being kind and considerate towards yourself, be mindful of your inner critic. We can say some pretty awful things to ourselves at times, for example, I often find things slipping from my mouth such as ‘you idiot’, ‘I don’t believe you’ve just done that!’, well that was a stupid thing to do wasn’t it’ – and I bet I’m not alone? If you find yourself being downright horrible to yourself at times, think about how you could be more supportive and encouraging or what you would say to a friend or loved one in the same situation. A key technique used in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT for short) is to spend time focusing on (and writing down) your critical thoughts, reframing them or analysing how much you really believe them. If you find yourself being really unkind and negative towards yourself this will most certainly have a negative impact on your self esteem and self worth. It may even be helpful in the future to think about finding a professional who can work with you to develop strategies that you can employ for making changes.

Look after your body

Pay special attention to what you need and treat your body in the way it deserves. Keep yourself hydrated throughout the day and eat food that makes you feel good such as plenty of fresh fruit and veg. Create a good skincare routine for your face and body and have a make up free day at least once of twice a week to keep your skin looking young and healthy. And if your body is craving rest or a change of scene, listen to it and give it what it needs. Encourage yourself to have a lie in, enjoy an afternoon nap, go for a nature walk, have a relaxing bath or simply go and sit outside in the sunshine and do absolutely nothing.

Explore your creative side

Spending some time being creative is a wonderful way to express yourself. There are so many different ways to do this such as drawing, painting, journalling, poetry or even some interior decoration (when was the last time you treated yourself to some new cushions or a few pretty ornaments to display on a shelf?). There’s no right or wrong way to be creative so leave your inner critic behind, immerse yourself in whatever it is you’ve chosen to do and really enjoy the process. You might surprise yourself with the results too!

Examine your relationships

We all deserve to be surrounded by people who love and care for us so think about the quality of each of your loving relationships and friendships. Does the person accept you for who you are? Are they they for you in good times and bad? When you see or speak to them, do they make you feel happy and alive or completely drained and stressed out? Do they meet you half way or are you always the one that reaches out to them? Are they happy for you when you meet a goal or achieve something new? Do they really listen when you have something to say or do they turn the conversation back to themselves?

Recognise those people who you feel don’t have your best interests at heart or make you feel less than great when you see or speak to them. You might not be able to remove some of them from your life completely (especially if they’re a family member or a work colleague) but you can try to limit the time you spend with them or work on changing your approach to dealing with them, e.g. setting firmer boundaries and learning to say no.

Bullet Journal Self Love Spread ideas

Things I love about myself

Spend some quiet time sitting and thinking about what makes you special and what your best qualities are. Try to come up with things related to your appearance, your relationships with others, your work ethic and your skills.

I really enjoyed creating this spread and it made me see that there are so many things that I love about myself. And of course, friends and family are likely to love these things about you too.

A simple spread using Tombow dual brush pens and a 0.3 pigment liner

2. Self love motivational messages

For this spread, I took to Google and typed in phrases such as ‘self love’, ‘self kindness’ and ‘self care’. I then clicked on images and selected a range that were visually appealing to resize and paste into an MS Word document. To make it easier to build my spread, I printed the pages on A4 sticker paper ready to cut out and stick in. I also tried to have a basic colour scheme of purples, pinks and greens to create a cohesive look. I found so many wonderful short texts and images that I was able to do two double page spreads which are so beautiful to look at. I added a few stickers and a little bit of washi to the blank spaces to complete the look. I’m so pleased with how they turned out and I’m sure I will find myself visiting the pages regularly.

Self care ideas

This is the kind of list I’ve created before as part of my Wellness Recovery Action Plan but I thought I’d do a similar one in my bullet journal with slightly less ideas so that it would all fit on a single page. Most of the ideas are completely free or cost very little (except maybe the retail therapy if I see lots of nice things!).

An amazing resource for self love encouragement

If you loved the ‘self-love hedgehog’ in my bullet journal spread, you absolutely need to check out the amazing website https://chibird.com/ where you can find many more self love, mental health and wellness related graphics. The website owner Jacqueline Chen’s art work in so wonderful and just looking through the resources can be part of your self love practice. She’s even produced a book which you can pick up on Amazon.

Final thoughts

Well done for taking the time to read this blog post as it shows you think self love is important! I hope it’s given you some fresh new ideas on how to be compassionate towards yourself in ways that you would be to others that you love. Let me know in the comments what the first thing is that you’re going to do this month to be all kinds of lovely to yourself.

Bullet journaling, lifestyle, Planning and journaling

Monday Matters: How I’m keeping the pre-holiday excitement going despite our trip being postponed until next year

Posted on Jul 6, 2020Jul 3, 2020 by Laura

My husband and I were meant to be going to Vienna in Austria in August of this year but we’ve made the decision to postpone our trip until 2021 as the restrictions in place due to Coronavirus are likely to spoil our holiday somewhat. However, I refuse to get upset about it and instead I’m keeping myself excited and doing some extra preparation for when we eventually get there. In today’s Monday Matters post, I’m going to share some of the ways that I’m keeping the excitement going so that I’m still really looking forward to our trip. Hopefully, this will give you some ways to minimise the disappointment you may be feeling if your plans have been put on hold for the time being.

Checking out Pinterest

I’ve recently created a Pinterest board called ‘Vienna Trip‘ and pinned lots of ‘best things to do in Vienna’ ideas plus information about the city in general. This is great for keeping all the webpages in one place and it will help me to create planning spreads in my BuJo nearer the time.

Vienna Photo collage Bullet Journal Spread

Whilst visiting various Vienna related pages on the web, I came across lots of stunning photographs of places within the city. I saved mini versions of these on my computer and have printed them off on photograph paper to create a two page collage for my bullet journal. I typed out the names of the places using MS Word and my favourite font of the moment which is Tox typewriter. I used Pritt stick to attach everything as the double sided tape that I have takes ages when you have lots of little fiddly bits and pieces to stick on.

Educating myself about the country

This is something I used to do with the children in my class when I was teaching. We would do a mini geography topic based on a particular place and learn everything we could about it including where it was in the World, the capital city and other popular tourist spots, the flag, traditions, weather, food etc. The information collected would then be used to create a fact file either electronically in our ICT lessons or in our topic books. I’ve been doing the same sort of research to create a spread in my bullet journal. I typed in search terms such as ‘Austria facts for kids’ etc into Google as I only wanted to know the basics and this made an easy starting point for further research. This website was a gold mine of information and has stuff on other countries too.

Before creating my BuJo spread, I set up an MS Word document in which to put random information about the country in no particular order. This helped me to decide on the sections and headers I would need for my bullet journal so I could make it as well organised and logical as possible.

Immersing myself virtually

There are some amazing views in Austria as I discovered during my research online. I’m not sure how much of the wonderful scenery we’ll get to see with us being in the city so I’ve chosen a stunning view for the desktop of my computer and I’ve stuck some beautiful photographs in my BuJo of some of the images I found. And according to Lee Bacon, head of digital at the BBC’s Natural History Unit, “Even viewing nature digitally has been scientifically proven to help peoples’ mental wellbeing” so yay for Google images!

Learning about the city

I usually do most of my reading about the city we are going to on the aeroplane on the way over or in a mad rush a few days before we travel. This time, I’m going to be super well prepared about the layout of Vienna and what to expect when we get there. This will help us make the most of our time as we will know how spaced out everything is and how we can travel around the place on foot or using different transport systems. So far I’ve done one page but I shall be continuing to add information each week until I have everything I want written down. By the time we go on our trip, I’ll have moved into a new BuJo but I can photocopy my pages to take with us.

I found a great site that has comprehensive descriptions on the various tourist attractions and also has a number of maps that you can download as PDFs. I printed one today on sticker paper, backed it onto some coloured paper and then laminated it. Now I just need to find somewhere to keep it until next year so we actually remember to take it with us.

What about a pre-trip virtual tour?

Whilst checking out a variety of websites, I came across this site which enables you to preview different sights around the city. It’s really useful for photographs of the different tourist activities and you can look on a map to see where things are located. I expect there are similar websites for other cities across the world too. I know Sunderland have created virtual tours of popular places across the city for people to view during lockdown.

Checking out the eateries using Happy Cow

My husband and I are both vegetarian and I’m particularly strict about what I eat too. I need to be sure that if I eat cheese, it doesn’t contain animal rennet and I also like my drinks to be veggie friendly too (vegan if possible). Therefore, when we go abroad, we choose to eat in vegetarian or vegan eateries, as unlike in the UK, cafes and restaurants don’t usually label their dishes with a V or Ve symbol. Before we go anywhere, we do extensive research on Happy Cow. I actually chose Vienna for our holiday as I know that vegetarians and vegans are well catered for there. I haven’t created a bullet journal spread of places to eat at yet but this is definitely something I intend to do nearer the time. The information will include if the café or restaurant is completely vegan or veggie with vegan options and I’ll also add the location and how far away it is from our hotel. As you can see, there are plenty of options for our stay!

Final thoughts

I know the lockdown and coronavirus have caused so much worry, disappointment, anxiety and general upset, but hopefully this post has given you some ideas on how to keep the pre-holiday or trip excitement going for a while longer. Obviously, re-arranging travel dates and accommodation present their own difficulties but once things have been sorted out, you can hopefully do some extra planning to ensure when you do eventually get away, you have the best time ever!

bullet journal, creativity, gardening, Planning and journaling

Setting up my bullet journal for July: Meadow flowers and grasses theme

Posted on Jun 30, 2020Jun 30, 2020 by Laura

This month, my husband and I went to a local place called Rainton Meadows which is a nature reserve run by Durham Wildlife Trust. It’s somewhere we go regularly for walks and to spot the variety of flora and fauna there. There’s so much to see, including a variety of water birds on the wetland areas, woodland birds from the new hide, ponies grazing on the grass, dragonflies around the water, along with butterflies and stunningly beautiful wild flowers in the meadows. For my July BuJo spreads, I decided to take inspiration from my visit to the reserve and the flowers and grasses we saw. I did want to take some my grassy and wild flower finds home with me so I could do some observational drawing but unfortunately, it started to rain heavily just before we left and we had to run back to the car. I had, however, taken plenty of photographs and was able to find line drawn images online to help me with my sketching. So, here are my pages for July. I hope you like them.

During lockdown, I’ve been addicted to watching plan with me videos on YouTube and I came across a vlogger who had done something similar to the idea I had in my head for my meadow and I took inspiration from her layout for my cover page. I had intended to have a go at creating a watercolour painting but I liked the effect of her designs with felt tip markers and fineliners so I decided to have a go.

For my calendar page, I stuck with a two-page spread as I like plenty of room to write down when I have published as blog post and any appointments or birthdays. I did a mini meadow in the bottom right hand corner and used one of the grass colours to for my boxes. The ‘make it work’ sticker is from a Happy Planner sticker booklet and I thought it finished that side of the page off nicely, whilst reminding me to keep going and find pleasure in life despite the restrictions due to Covid.

I kept my exercise trackers the same as June but changed the colours and added floral decoration to my workout chart. I found they worked really well for me last month and I was motivated to keep up with filling them in each morning and night.

Finally, I created a Garden Jobs for July double page spread so that I know what to focus on for the next month. I used the Gardener’s World and RHS websites for this as they both contain really helpful advice.

I would love to know what theme you have chosen for your bullet journal spreads for July. Let me know in the comments and add a link to your blog if you have one so that I can take a look.

Wishing you a wonderful July,