This blog post first appeared here in March 2019 when my chosen word of the year was resilience and I was spending a good deal of time reading articles and books to help me improve mine. I hope my updated post proves useful to anyone looking for a few ideas on the topic to support their good mental health.
What do we mean by the term ‘resilience’?
Resilience can be defined as the ability to cope with and rise from all of the challenges, problems and set-backs that life throws at us and come back stronger. When we develop our skills and personal strength in this area, we are able to handle our difficulties more easily and this can improve our overall mental health.
The following ideas were collected at a time when I was in a good place and have helped me during periods of depression and low mood. I hope you find them useful too. Even if you are in a period of good mental health right now, it can be useful to learn ways to develop your resilience for times in the future when you may need a boost.
Try to remain optimistic
It can be difficult to remain optimistic when faced with challenges in life but maintaining a hopeful outlook is an important part of resilience. Try to have a positive mindset and encourage thinking such as ‘it’s not the end of the world’ and ‘things will get better’. Remember that set backs are temporary and remind yourself that you are strong and that you have the skills and abilities to face your difficulties.
When negative thoughts pop into your head, try to replace them with something more positive such as ‘I have lots of friends who will support me through this’, ‘I am good at solving problems’, ‘I never give up’, ‘I am good at my job’ etc. Also, choose to see challenges and bad experiences as an opportunity to learn. Ask yourself ‘What can I learn from this situation?’, ‘What is this trying to teach me?’ ‘What positives can I take from my experience?’.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is all about awareness in the present moment – our thoughts and feelings and the world around us. It involves the use of techniques such as meditation, breathing and stretching exercises and can help you to stay calm and in control of your emotions.
When practising mindfulness you begin to notice how thoughts come and go in your mind. You learn to accept these thoughts without judgement and develop your ability to let them go. In addition, you are able to tune in to what your body is telling you and notice signs of stress and anxiety so that you can release tension as you meditate.
Support Network
It’s really important to have people who you can turn to at times of need. Building and nurturing constructive relationships with positive and supportive friends, family and colleagues is an essential part of wellbeing and staying resilient. They can provide a listening ear, positive encouragement, advice or help you celebrate your achievements. Having a good support system in place has also been shown to boost self esteem, confidence and better self image.
If you feel you need to widen your support network, there are many opportunities to do so either in your local community or through online groups. Try your local library, community centre or college for clubs and classes or try to find out about volunteering opportunities in your fields of interest.
A resilient body
We’ve all heard the expression ‘healthy body, heathy mind’ and keeping yourself well is another key part of resilience. Try to eat regularly and make sure you get plenty of good for you fruit and veggies in your diet. Find a type of exercise that you enjoy (personally, I love countryside walks and dancing), and schedule in a time for this each day. Also, remember to take time out to relax and recharge. It’s not self indulgent to schedule in some me time each day, it’s a key part of coping with our busy and stressful lives.
Good sleep is also vital for a healthy lifestyle and better mental health. Try to develop a good relaxation routine each evening – listen to some calming music, dim the lights, meditate or have a warm bath. Many people recommend writing in a journal as a way of putting the day to rest so that you don’t have lot of thoughts buzzing around in your head when you climb into bed. If you want to learn more about this technique click here.
Ideas to try in your bullet journal
Create a positive affirmations page and read them every morning. Examples of affirmations include ‘I am strong’, ‘I see the bright side in all situations’, ‘I radiate positive energy’.
Add some of your favourite positive quotes to your weekly plan.
Write a list of ways to reward yourself for your achievements such as ‘have a relaxing bubble bath’, ‘paint your nails’, ‘buy yourself some planner stickers’, ‘treat yourself to your favourite bar of chocolate’ etc.
Practise gratitude by keeping a ‘one line a day’ log where you write in something you are grateful for on that day. You can include anything you want such as ‘the helpful magazine article I read yesterday’, ‘a kind text from my friend’, ‘3 new shop orders today’, ‘the lovely feedback I received’ etc
Make a ‘Things That Make Me Happy’ page and use it to remind you of all the good things in your life.
Produce a list of creative activities that you enjoy and find the time to schedule at least one of them into your busy week. Getting involved in art and creative tasks has been proven to reduce stress and it’s another mindful activity which can provide a welcome distraction from negative thoughts or anxieties.
Keep a daily journal in which you evaluate your day. It will help you to focus on the positives and any challenges that you met. You can also use your journaling as a space to assess your issues and any ideas you may have for solving them.
Final words…
I hope you have found these tips useful and will try out some of the ideas in your notebook or bullet journal. Of course sometimes, during periods of depression, it is really difficult to see a way forward back to better mental health and it may be that if you’re really struggling, the help of a trained therapist might be the best form of help. I have found CBT style therapy particularly useful in the past and still apply what I’ve been taught over the years. Skills associated with resilience take time to develop but I believe that everyone has the capacity to learn.
Winter is a difficult time for birds due to the shortage of food sources, long and cold nights and shorter days. By nightfall, they need to have eaten enough to give them energy to keep warm and survive until morning when the process of searching for food starts all over again. Providing food sources in your garden is a great way to help nature and feel as though you are making a difference.
Photo credit: Amee Fairbank Brown for Unsplash
I like to think that our garden is a wildlife friendly as possible and I’m always in search of new ideas to keep visitors happy and well fed. I know that many of my readers are nature and wildlife lovers too, so this week, I thought I’d explain how feeding and observing birds in your garden helps to boost your mental health and also share my top tips for looking after birds in wintertime.
Whether you sit outside all wrapped up with a warm drink or you observe through the window, watching the birds feeding and exploring your garden can have a huge impact on your mental health and wellbeing. Here’s some benefits that we can all enjoy:
Watching the birds is a mindful and meditative activity which makes you feel calm and relaxed. Whether indoors or outside, you are required to sit very still and quiet, away from distractions such as your mobile phone (and all of the must-read notifications which constantly pop up!). If you can, and the weather allows, I recommend wrapping up in your biggest coat with hat, gloves and chunky scarf (plus optional coffee, milky tea or hot chocolate), so you can sit in your garden. This way, you can be totally immersed in nature and use more of your senses, so, as well as observing what’s going on, you can also listen to the various sounds of the birds and other noises in your immediate environment or further away. During this time, you may also become aware of different sensations such as a gentle breeze on your face, the chill of your cold ears, the warmth of your mug seeping through your gloves or the supportiveness of your choice of seat. And, because you are involved in all of this sensory exploration, you’re not thinking about your never-ending to-do list and all of the other stresses of the modern world.
Getting outdoors in the wintertime ensures you get some much-needed fresh air and a dose of vitamin D from a natural source. Fresh air can improve your wellbeing in lots of ways including clearing your airways and lungs, strengthening your immune system, improving your digestion and giving you more energy (which also helps to sharpen your mind). Vitamin D is essential for boosting your brain and immune system and strengthening your bones. Obviously, the amount of sunlight changes from day-to-day, but personally, I think getting out in nature provides a mood boost even on the dullest of days.
Bird feeding and watching can give you a real sense of achievement. From learning to identify the birds you spot and beginning to recognise their various calls and songs, to attracting different species to your garden or yard as you increase your feeding options and even developing the skills to use binoculars or take photographs using a DSLR camera. There’s so many opportunities and I guarantee it’ll boost your self-esteem too.
Something else which will make you feel good about yourself is knowing that you’re doing your bit for wildlife conservation in your local area. Creating a haven for birds in your garden and generally making it a wildlife friendly zone is a great way to help on an individual basis.
Above all, bird watching can be absolutely fascinating and great fun. When you stop what you’re doing and really look at the birds, it’s so interesting to see their comings and goings and how they behave. You might first see a little dunnock flicking its tail as it shuffles along the ground, hoovering up crumbs fallen from the feeders. A short time later, you might spot a visiting blue tit carefully extract one single seed and then take it back to the safety of their chosen branch to enjoy in peace and comfort. Watching a solitary blackbird as it traverses your lawn will show you how it tilts it head to listen carefully for worms underground and then uses its sharp beak to extract its prize from the earth. You might also see how it defends its territory by chasing away other small birds from its garden of choice. Whichever birds your garden attracts, I can almost guarantee they’ll provide good entertainment and bring you feelings of joy!
And if you don’t have a garden, watching and feeding birds in your local park is also great too – just be careful about the kind of food you provide, for example pre-mixed bird seed is a good source of nutrients for garden/woodland birds, whereas white bread isn’t a particularly health option for them. If you combine your bird spotting with a nice brisk walk you can really maximise the health benefits of your time outdoors!
Top tips for bird feeding and watching
Get a basic field guide
Whether you’re new to bird watching or have a little experience, a basic field guide for garden birds is a great resource. This will provide pictures of common and slightly more obscure garden visitors as well as information about what makes each of them unique. This might include size, body shape, plumage colours and patterns, tail shape, length and patterning, and other defining characteristics. Many of them will also discuss geographic range, migratory patterns of specific birds, breeding patterns and behaviours to look out for.
Be patient – birds are careful and cautious customers
When you first start to create a haven for birds, you’ll need to be very patient. Birds have evolved to be incredibly careful as it maximises their chance of survival. A few years ago we replaced our bird bath as the current one which was coated metal got a hole in it (we thought that over enthusiastic birds were flicking most of the water out each day!). This time we’d chosen a weighty ceramic version in a shiny mid grey which we excitedly placed in the garden in the same spot as the previous one. However, despite the fact that my husband and I thought the new bath looked smart and attractive, it was several weeks before any of our feather friends showed even a slight interest in it and at least a month before they would actually linger and have a wash in it!
Keep an observational journal
Anyone who knows me or regularly reads my blog will know I love journalling and memory keeping. I like to make my own traveler’s notebook inserts and use them to record anything and everything. However, I’ve recently picked out a garden journal for my husband to get me for Christmas and I thought it would be a nice idea to record my garden bird spots in it, particularly any unusual observations. For example, one snowy January, I saw a group of redwings perching in the ivy on our bottom fence and a few weeks later, my husband spotted a nocturnal bird poking its long beak into the snow in search of food. It turned out it to be a woodcock – our first sighting, and so far, our last! Your journal could simply be a place to record the name of the bird and when you saw it, but you could also get creative adding photographs, sketches or even watercolour paintings.
Think about meal provision for all – cater for picky eaters and those who aren’t as fussed
Some birds, such ss goldcrests, are quite picky eaters, and feed mainly on small insects and spiders. Others, such as blackbirds will include a large range of foods in their diet such as worms, spiders, berries, dried fruits, sunflower hearts, oatmeal and suet pellets. I’ve even seen the ones who visit out garden grabbing the odd water louse from our wildlife pond! If you look at different bird mixes available, they usually suggest which individuals they’re designed to attract. Over time, you could add different feeders – we have seed feeders, fat balls, peanuts (inside a mesh feeder to prevent whole nuts from being extracted) and a wooden table for birds who prefer open feeding and a place for kitchen scraps and fruit.
Go heavy on fatty foods
Talking of different types of food, birds need plenty of high fat stuff during cold winter weather so that they are able to maintain their fat reserves to keep them warm during frosty nights. This can include pre-made fat balls, suet cakes and bars or you can make your own – check out these instructions on the RSPB website. Warning: fat from cooking is bad for birds because the consistency of it makes it prone to smearing on feathers which can destroy waterproofing and insulating qualities.
Supplement with kitchen scraps
Feeding garder birds doesn’t have to be an expensive hobby. Many kitchen scraps that get thrown away can provide a suitable meal. We tend to stick with seed mixes, peanuts and fat balls but this information from the RSPB has given my husband and I food for thought!
Adjust to the demand
When you first start feeding the birds, you may only have a small number of customers visiting your garden or you may find that limited species choose to come. Always adjust the quantity of food to the demand. Also, try to put the provisions out at the same time each day so that the visitors can learn your feeding routine.
Maintain good hygiene
It’s really important to regularly clean your bird feeders, drinking containers and bird tables to keep them disease free. If you don’t maintain good hygiene standards you may be doing the visiting birds more harm than good. Check out this online resource from the RSPB which has lots of tips on keeping your birds healthy.
Provide water as well as food
Water is vital to a bird’s survival so you should make sure you provide drinking and bathing facilities for your feathered friends. This could be via a purpose-built bird bath, a water tray, shallow pot or a hanging water dispenser. For bathing, birds only need a small depth of water as the purpose it to get their feathers wet rather than drenching themselves. During the depths of winter, when it gets super cold, you might need to check on the receptacles to see if they are frozen and then gently defrost them. Be sure not to use really hot water or you might crack the container.
Consider planting for birds
Although late Autumn and the depths of winter aren’t usual time for planting, if you want to attract birds to your garden across the seasons and for years to come, it’s worth thinking about the plants you choose. Native wildflowers, sunflowers, asters, black eyed susans, echinacea (or anything else which has tasty seeds inside) dense bushes and those which produce fruit (e.g. ceanothus, privet and blackberry) shrubs with berries (e.g. cotoneaster) and trees such as birch or cherry. We haven’t got room for any trees in our garden but there are a few hanging over our plot which get plenty of visitors – I’m sure some of them sit in them watching and waiting for us to add fresh supplies.
Once your plants become established, you should find that even if they get attacked by garden pests such as greenfly or blackfly, the birds should help to keep them at bay for you. For example, we have a rose bush and every year the underside of the leaves gets covered. However, we never use pesticide on it (or indeed any of our garden plants) because a) it’s bad for ecology and biodiversity and b) sparrows and blue tits are regularly seen picking the bugs off. Also, by eliminating green and black fly (AKA aphids), you’re depriving ladybirds of their favourite meal too!
Invest in a wildlife pond
We only have a small garden but, about four years ago we decided to get a mini pond for wildlife. We have at least one resident frog in there but it’s also popular with blackbirds too – they love bathing in there and drinking the water (there are lots of water hoglouse in there and we think they pick them out of the water and gobble them up too!). Our night-time visiting hedgehogs also love to wash down the biscuits we put out for them (that is if a visiting mouse hasn’t stolen them before they arrive!).
Final words…
When I used to volunteer for the RSPB and worked with schools exploring nature, the teacher’s used to often ask me when it was important to feed the birds. My advice was that food can become scarce at any time of year, depending on the weather conditions, so it’s best to put something out all year but then ramp up the provisions to include a wider variety of options during the wintertime.
I hope today’s post has encouraged you to give bird watching and feeding a go this wintertime. If it has, let me know how you get on. One final idea is to take a few photos of your feeding provision each year so you can see how your garden develops over time. My husband and I love looking at images taken over the years – even if they’re just quick snaps of different spaces. All too often, we’ve forgotten how tiny some of our plants were when we first set them and how big they’ve grown!
This week, in my series on The Wheel Of Wellness, I’ll be looking at the Spiritual segment. This section, which is the last to be covered, is all about finding life’s meaning and purpose whilst developing understanding of your personal values, beliefs and morals and using these to guide your actions and inform your way of living. Spiritual wellness does not necessarily involve being a deeply religious person or believing in the supernatural, rather, it is related to the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.
A focus on spirituality involves learning to be more self-aware and recognising our existence in time and space. It’s also about becoming more familiar with our personal beliefs and values and how they affect the way we live and what we see as our purpose in life.
We all have a spirit within us which is constantly guiding us, looking after us and showing us the way to go. When we start to tune in to and listen to our inner voice, we’re using our spirit, and this is what can help us to lead a life in keeping with our wants, desires and passions. Connecting with our spiritual side can also help us to feel happier and healthier which I’m sure is something we all want.
Ways in which you can connect to your spiritual self
There are a number of ways in which you can really tune in to your spirit and think about what you really want for yourself and your life.
Quieten the mind – meditation is a great practice to develop but other mindful practices include writing in a daily journal, doing relaxing breathing exercises, taking a walk in nature, doing a meditative activity such as drawing, painting or colouring in, stretching exercises such as yoga, Pilates or mindful movements and praying.
Practise gratitude – identify a number of positives in your life each day, expressing and reflecting on them
Take a Mindful approach – focusing your awareness on the present moment, whilst calmly acknowledging and accepting your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations is at the core of mindfulness as is a great way of becoming more in tune with your spiritual side.
Consider your personal values – values identify what is important to you in your life and how you wish to interact with the world. When your actions align with your core values you will immediately start to feel more content, fulfilled and satisfied. To help you do this, I’ve created a Pinterest board full of links to core values lists and related activities – try scanning the pages to see what resonates with you. You’ll see so many different ideas and the ones which you choose to add to your personal list will influence your decisions and life choices in many ways including:
your job or career path
your hobbies and pastimes
where you live
how you manage your money
your friendships, romantic partners and relationships
where you shop
compromises we are willing to make
how we parent our children
the ways in which we treat ourselves (both good and bad)
Whilst I was researching this blog post, I came across lots of worksheets, workbooks and exercises to try which focused on your values. One of these invited you to split your values into ‘Valuing myself’, ‘Valuing my relationships’ and ‘Valuing my work’. I had a quick go at this below but added ‘my life’ to the first category:
Valuing myself and my life
compassion, creativity, enthusiasm, open-mindedness, acceptance (self and others), creativity, happiness, health (emotional, physical and mental), learning, intelligence resilience, fun, wellbeing, respect for animals
Valuing my relationships
loyalty, thoughtfulness, love, playfulness, understanding, usefulness and humour
Spend time reflecting on your beliefs – these may have a religious focus or might be related to your core values. Examples of non-religious beliefs could be:
family comes first
we must take care of our planet
honesty is the best policy
everything happens for a reason
work/life balance is a priority
I should always try my best
community service is a central part of life
the different phases of the moon have particular influences on my life
breaking a mirror gives you seven years bad luck
Think about your dreams – not the ones you had in bed over the past few weeks, but your deepest desires and wishes. As part of this, you could do some journalling or have a go at creating a vision board. Afterwards, you might spend time reflecting on small but positive life changes that you could make right now to help you work towards these dreams.
Final thoughts…
Cultivating spirituality has many benefits for your physical and mental health and wellbeing. Getting to know your true self can help you begin to live in alignment with your core values and beliefs which is fundamental for a long and happy life. Psychologically, spiritual practices can develop your understanding of your inner self, leading to a greater sense of purpose. They can help you to think positively and clearly, lower your risk of stress, anxiety and depression and generally give you a better outlook on life. Physically, being more connected to your spiritual side can improve your immune system, help you to fight off illnesses, lower your blood pressure and reduce your risk of heart disease and stroke. It can also help you to make better choices in terms of diet and find other ways of looking after your body and your mind, for example by exercising regularly and finding time to relax. The peace and calmness we invite into our lives can also help us to get a restful night’s sleep.
I hope you have found today’s post useful and have enjoyed learning about The Wheel Of Wellness over the last few months. I would love to hear about your hopes, dreams and ambitions for the future and the ways in which you think you can bring these into fruition. In keeping with having an open mind, I’m currently learning about the magic of using the phases of the moon as a tool to develop self-awareness, self-care, nourishment and empowerment to live with purpose and to manifest my deepest wants and desires for life. You’ll see in my next blog post, in which I share my October bullet journal spreads, that this has inspired my theme for next month and provided me with lots of ideas.
This week, as part of my series on the Wheel of Wellness, I’ll be covering the emotional segment. This section of the wheel is all about your feelings and includes how well you are able to identify, manage and engage with your emotions and how successfully you can deal with any emotional challenges which arise from time to time.
In the Oxford Dictionary online, emotion is defined in two ways:
a strong feeling derived from one’s circumstances, mood or relationships with others.
instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.
Assessing your emotional wellness
The following are some signs of good emotional wellbeing that you can use to assess your current health in the area.
you feel good about yourself and who you are
you have feelings of contentment most of the time
you treat others well, showing them compassion and understanding (if you do this, you are most likely to treat yourself well, if you are critical of others, you will likely have a tendency to be harsh and critical towards yourself)
you feel you have a good support network e.g. you have friends / family or colleagues that you are able to open up to and a sense that there are people in your life who care about you
you are able to rest and relax (including being able to wind down for good sleep)
you are able to assert yourself, recognising that your opinions are valid and being able to say no when you need to without feeling guilty
you consider yourself to be someone who manage stress well
awareness of the main signs of poor emotional health – anger (which presents itself in various ways, including irritability, short temper, being argumentative), feeling hopeless (feeling low / depressed, helpless, worthless, seeing small things as ‘the end of the World’, not being able to see things are capable of change etc), losing interest in activities you used to enjoy, becoming socially distant, poor levels of productivity, blaming others for your mistakes and failings and repeatedly having trouble in relationships (friends, family and romantic partners)
flexibility – you are able to change and adapt well to different circumstances
you are able to name and embrace all of your emotions (such as sadness, anger, joy, fear, excitement etc) as a natural part of who you are (rather than suppressing or ignoring them
you lead a purposeful life (do you feel that you use your strengths to your advantage to make a difference?) (see my post on Occupational wellness for more on this)
you are grateful for many things in your life (particularly for people and situations in your life rather than just your possessions)
you value your experiences more than you value your possessions
you regularly engage in self-care activities such as doing activities which make you happy, using breathing techniques to help you stay calm or calm yourself when anxious, practising mindfulness, journalling about how you are feeling, showing yourself plenty of compassion, developing a regular meditation practice, scheduling ‘me time’ into your day, do something altruistic and explore how you feel as a result.
Some ideas for improving your emotional health
Make sure you’ve got the basics right – eat healthily with occasional treats, get enough quality sleep, move your body on a daily basis and use vices in moderation (e.g. alcohol, social media, junk food etc). If you think you need to make changes in one or more of these areas, try setting yourself small, achievable targets and celebrate all of your achievements.
Try CBT. If you think you need to learn more about your emotions and how they affect you, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is really beneficial for many people. There are plenty of books on the subject but it’s best if you work through your particular issues with a trained therapist.
Make use of self help resources. A book that I’m currently reading which I’m finding super useful is ‘Why has Nobody Told Me This Before’ by Dr Julie Smith. I spend around half an hour reading each morning after breakfast and I always have a Mildliner highlighter pen at hand to mark up anything which especially resonates with me. The website https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ has lots of resources which might prove to be useful too.
Develop a daily reflective journalling habit – spending 5 or 10 minutes each evening recording how you feel your day went is a great way to record events and interactions with others and explore how they affected you emotionally. When you’ve finished writing, spend a few minutes considering what you wrote thinking about the decisions you made, whether the experience was positive or negative, what you can learn from what happened and what you might do differently next time.
Become familiar with ‘Unhelpful thinking styles’ and use them to identify and rationalise particular thoughts you have. Type the above phrase into Google or YouTube to learn about them and consider which particularly resonate with you. Once you know about them, you’ll start to recognise them cropping up in your day-to-day life. You can then begin to challenge them and create more helpful alternatives (a trusted friend or therapist can help with this too).
Be realistic when you’re not feeling 100% – There will be certain times of the year when you’re not feeling quite yourself, maybe you’re feeling under the weather, perhaps you’re stressed out at work or you’re planning an event or holiday which is taking up lots of your time and making you feel super busy. Or, like me, you might have a mood disorder which causes you periods of difficulty. Whatever the cause, it’s important to look after yourself during these times (ramp up the self care and self compassion) and definitely lower the expectations you place on yourself. Also, don’t be afraid to say no if you feel like something will be too much for you right now.
Start a self-care routine for your emotions – this could include meditation, mindful movements or stillness, yoga, Pilates, stretches or different breathing exercises to calm your body and your mind. If you keep a bullet journal like me, a great idea is to create a page of self-care ideas (with pictures/doodles if you want) as a reminder of all of the things you can try.
Remember some things are outside of your control – there are many things in life that happen to you which you can’t change e.g. the loss of a loved one, a global pandemic, a health diagnosis etc, but we can choose how we respond to those circumstances, e.g. by being kind, self-compassionate, hopeful and accepting.
Reach out – if you’re feeling lonely, down or isolated, seek out supportive family members, friends, colleagues, online or in person support groups to let people know that you are struggling. Also, try to find out what is going on in your local community so you can seek out social connections. If the thought of social interactions makes you feel anxious right now, try to choose one of the options that feels easiest such as inviting a friend over for coffee or chatting to someone via text message or on the phone.
Set clear boundaries and learn to say no. If you say yes to things that you really don’t feel like doing or you don’t have time for, it can lead to feelings of anger, resentment or overwhelm. In her book which I mentioned above, she explains about ‘people pleasing’ “We say yes when actually what we want and need is to say no. We feel resentful of being taken advantage of but unable to change it by asking for anything different. On the other hand, having clear boundaries makes you feel in control and is a way of showing yourself respect. Being assertive can be difficult for some of us, especially during periods of mental illness, so it’s a good idea to develop your skills when your mood is stable. Only say yes to what matters to you the most such as a get together with close family and friends, learning opportunities or new challenges at work which will further develop your skills or increase your knowledge (but not too far from your comfort zone!). There’s a wealth of information online about assertiveness (some better than others) so if you need help in this area or want to know more about what it means to be assertive, try checking out NHS resources such as this one which includes a very useful download, worksheets and information on www.getselfhelp.co.uk and this article from lifehack.org. Again, qualified CBT therapists can help with assertiveness too.
Read up on emotional resilience – emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to stressful situations and cope with life’s ups and downs. You can learn about it and develop the associated skills in books, online, with a therapist or through doing a course at a local recovery college like I did.
Go outside – studies have shown that being in nature has powerful effects on our mind, body and soul. There’s lots of ways to fit in some time outdoors including taking a walk in your lunchbreak, enjoying your morning coffee in the garden or wandering through your local park or woodland at the end of a busy day.
Final words…
Thank you for taking the time to read today’s blog post. I hope you have found it useful and are thinking about trying some of the ideas I mentioned. Let me know in the comments if you think your emotional health is quite strong or if you feel it’s an area you need to work on. As always, if you have any questions or anything to add, please do get in touch.
For today’s blog post on The Wheel Of Wellness I’ll be focusing on the Occupational segment. This section is all about finding meaningful ways to occupy your time whether that be doing a job you enjoy and get personal satisfaction from, volunteering your time and services for a particular cause such as a charity, helping the community in some way (either in person or online), raising a family or simply being a good partner / friend / mum or dad / sibling / pet owner etc.
When we think of the term ‘occupation’, our thoughts tend to turn to our job or the way we earn a living. However, some of us, myself included, are currently classed as unemployed (for whatever reason), in education, or are retired, but we still occupy our time in a number of useful ways. So, throughout today’s article, I’ll be talking about occupation in the broadest sense i.e. as a way of spending time, particularly in a manner that is useful for ourselves, our family and friends or our wider community.
Occupational wellness
To maintain occupational wellness, it’s important to consider how what we do impacts on our general health – both physically and mentally. Does your work leave you feeling good about yourself and as though you’re really making a difference or do you dread each and every week, feel constantly exhausted, dissatisfied and undervalued? If you volunteer your time for a good cause, does your line manager thank you regularly and encourage you to recognise the impact you’re are having both on yourself and the organisation or do you feel unappreciated and as though it is a struggle to think of the benefits? If, like me, you’re a blogger, do you get a buzz when someone likes your post, follows you or leaves a nice comment or do you feel like you invest too much time on your writing and have lost your spark? For those of you who are retired, have you adjusted to your circumstances, and are you happy with how you structure your days, or do you feel like you would benefit from making changes which support both your physical and mental health? Whatever you current situation, do you feel well motivated, happy and purposeful or is there room for improvement in this area of your wellness?
My own experience of occupational wellbeing (and lack of)
(N.B. these paragraphs may be triggering for individuals who are currently struggling with their mood in some way or have a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder)
Before my diagnosis of Bipolar disorder, when I was teaching, there were periods of time in my work when I felt on top of the world, superior to most of my colleagues and as though I was making such a difference to the pupils and the school as a whole that I was a complete asset. At other times, I felt demotivated, dreaded each week, struggled to get out of bed and get things done and found my work-life completely unbalanced and unmanageable – drowning both at home and at work. For the rest of the time, I was satisfied with the way my career was going, felt I was becoming better and better at my job and was, along with most of my colleagues making a real difference. I also felt that I was able to manage my workload and had the ability to say ‘no’ when necessary. The swings in mood I was experiencing were exacerbated by occupational / work-related stress but were also heavily affected by a mental health condition that I was unaware I had.
At the time, during a period of severe depression, I was convinced the solution was to give up my job and career and that following handing in my notice, everything would be perfect. I was devastated that this was the answer as I’d wanted to be a primary school teacher from my early childhood but, I was making myself ill and it just couldn’t continue. However, I soon realised that although some aspects of my situation had improved (less stress, better work-life balance, more time for self care for example), my mood swings (although not as severe) continued and I had highs, extreme lows and periods of balance. When I was stable, I would set goals for myself and filled my time in productive ways. I would wake up feeling good and ready to get on with things. When I was depressed, I completely lost my confidence, had extreme anxiety and felt like I was a waste of space and no use to anyone. When I was high (shortly after a depressive episode), I slept very little, was brimming with ideas for what I wanted to do and achieve, flitted from project to project often leaving them half unfinished, spent money on all sorts of items as everything looked attractive and definitely on my want/need list and basically felt like I could take on the world. This eventually caused burn out and resulted in another bout of depression or physical unwellness.
Fast forward a good few years and, although I still have mental health difficulties, a correct diagnosis, medication for my illness, a range of therapies and help from my support worker have put me in a much better place and I’m currently able to manage my moods more easily and occupy my days in useful ways that leave me satisfied and feeling like I’m making a difference (however small). I’m also able to add in mindful and calming activities into my day and can recognise when I need to take breaks and when I might be doing too much.
As some of you who read my blog posts regularly will know, I’m continually working on my physical and mental health in a number of effective ways and I even have paid work lined up with my local university for next month which will make full use of my skillset whilst offering me the opportunity to take a break during any future periods of mental ill health. I also have the chance to work and socialise with other individuals who have physical and/or mental health difficulties so I will feel less alone. For the first time since I resigned from teaching, I feel like my occupational wellness is getting to where it should be.
Asking yourself questions to consider your occupational wellness
I think it’s really important to reflect on the different aspects of your life regularly and consider how things are going. Asking questions can be hugely beneficial. Of course, the assessment questions you ask yourself will differ depending on your current life situation but below I’ve shared some examples which you can pick and choose from depending which are most relevant. You might want to spend some time thinking and considering your answers but another good idea is to make notes or do some journalling so you can deep dive into how things are for you, and evaluate if your needs are being met. This kind of activity is great for self care and building self awareness.
Again, I’ve tried my best to include everyone here but I apologise in advance if you feel like most or all of the questions aren’t relevant to you. If this is the case, you are more than welcome to drop a comment explaining why and I’ll rack my brains and see if I can create a few tailor made question ideas.
How would you rate your current happiness and life satisfaction? Why?
What is it about your current role or the way you occupy your time that makes you want to get up in the morning?
What does an average week / work week look like to you? Does this support your physical and mental health? Why? Why not?
Do you feel like your current employment / routine offers opportunities to expand your skills and use your strengths? Why? Why not?
If you are a student, do your chosen subjects interest you and are you learning well? Does your degree choice suit you and are you getting the help and support you need to learn? Are you able to study independently? Have you found the right balance between studying and enjoying life?
What are your career / life aspirations?
What do you feel is important in your life right now? Does your occupation / lifestyle reflect this? If there are areas for improvement, what changes do you think you could make?
Do you feel that you’re currently achieving balance between your work and leisure time? Are there any ways you could tweak things?
What opportunities do you currently have to use your individual gifts, skills and talents (try making a list of them first if you’re unsure what they are) in order to gain purpose, happiness and enrichment in your life?
Does how you currently occupy your time support your physical health? Why? Why not?
Does how you currently occupy your time support your mental health? Why? Why not?
Can you identify one change you could make to your life right now that would have a positive impact on your physical or mental health? (this could be asking for help rather than taking on all of the responsibility yourself, or simple putting your foot down and saying no!)
Social connection is considered important for wellbeing (even during periods of low mood). Can you name the ways you connect with others on a regular basis? Do these connections help or hinder your mental health? Are there any changes you’d like to make in this area to improve your wellbeing? Do you shy away from social situations during periods of depression / anxiety or low mood? Can you think of ways to remain socially connected that seem management during difficult times?
How do you manage your work related / family stress and responsibilities? If you struggle in this area, can you think of ways to improve?
What’s your current attitude towards life / work? Does this support your health or not? Why?
What about if I’m struggling with depression right now and feel pretty useless?
As someone with bipolar disorder, I have plenty of experience of depressive episodes and recognise the daily struggles. However, what I’ve learnt is that, if you feel like you’ve achieved nothing with your day, it tends to make you feel much worse. For this reason, creating a structure or plan for your time can really help. This might include going to your local recovery college to learn something new, identifying small and achievable tasks to do on each day of the week or planning activities which you know (either now or in the past) have given you a little mood boost such as going for a walk in nature, meeting a friend for coffee or doing something mindful such as colouring in, working on a jigsaw or doing some word puzzles. Then, by bedtime, you can celebrate all of your achievements no matter how tiny they are. And don’t forget, even something like getting out of bed and getting dressed shouldn’t be dismissed! Check out my post on Behavioural Activation if you want more help with making a daily plan.
Final words…
I hope you’ve found today’s blog post interesting or helpful in some way and it has made you think about your occupational wellbeing. I’ve tried to include something for everyone no matter what your current situation as I know my readers are all individual and at different stages of their lives. Let me know in the comments if a question or idea has particularly resonated with you as I love to hear the opinions and thoughts of others.
Keeping it creative 