Monday Matters: Working towards a life full of calmness and positivity – simple ideas to try today

Today I’m sharing some easy self-help strategies to enable you to create a life which is both calmer and more positive. I hope you find the tips useful and they motivate you to make a change or two going forward.

Be kind to yourself

Showing self-compassion, practising self-care and giving yourself grace when you make mistakes or are struggling with the stresses of modern day living is an important and helpful first step to take in developing a more positive life. If a good friend of yours was finding things difficult right now, you would offer them support and encouragement, sympathy and well wishes, yet when we find ourselves in a similar situation do we behave in the same way? Here’s a few ways to be kind to ourselves (and they don’t need to be reserved for when we are down or struggling with our mental health either):

1. Forgive yourself often – for making mistakes, not being perfect, not being super productive etc. Whatever you beat yourself up about, STOP!
2. Keep yourself hydrated – this simple act of self-care is important and will help you feel your best throughout the day
3. Listen to your body – if it needs rest, a day off, a holiday, a break from chores, a lie in etc. provide exactly that.
4. Explore how you’re feeling mentally and why – try a spot of journalling or talk to a close friend, then, if need be, take appropriate steps to remedy the situation.
5. Eat well – eating a balanced diet full of fresh produce, wholegrains and all of the vitamins and minerals you need is a great way to look after yourself. Yes, you shouldn’t deny yourself the occasional treat, but eating a predominately healthy diet will help you maintain good energy levels, restful sleep and better mood.
6. Get some exercise – you don’t need to lift weights at the gym or pedal the exercise bike for hours each week, do something you enjoy whether it’s yoga, pilates, a walk in the countryside or playing outside with your dog. Exercise releases feel good hormones as well as keeping you in good shape.
7. Celebrate your achievements – think about what you’ve achieved this week / month / year and give yourself a pat on the back. Even better, treat yourself to some kind of reward such as a bunch of flowers, a new notebook or something else that’s been on your wishlist for a while.

Be kind to others

Small acts of kindness towards others can have an enormous impact on both on the giver and receiver. Just something simple like holding a door open for someone who has their hands full or letting someone who is only buying one item go before you in the queue for groceries is enough for benefits such as brighter mood, lower stress levels, feelings of connection and belonging to the community and improved self-esteem and confidence.

Release your inner creativity

No matter how busy your day is, there’s always at the very least a small window of opportunity to get creative (try putting your phone in another room for half an hour!). Whether it’s doing some colouring in and choosing colours which complement each other, developing a poem about your experiences, doing some seasonal doodling in your bullet journal or creating a mood board for your living room, anything which uses your imagination or original ideas to make something is a boost to your creative side. And even if you don’t see yourself as the creative type, trying out different expressive activities will help you develop this part of yourself which I promise is lurking inside somewhere! Engaging in creative pursuits is wonderful for bring calmness and tranquility as well as a sense of achievement. It’s also a lovely way to practice self care.

Develop an attitude of gratitude

I write about gratitude in a lot of my wellbeing posts here on my blog but it is with good reason. Being grateful for what you have and celebrating ways in which you are very lucky has proven health benefits such as being better able to cope with adversity, enjoying improved sleep and immunity, building stronger relationships with others (particularly if you show gratitude for family and friends) and generally feeling much more positive and happy. Feeling gratitude and expressing your appreciation for things in your life is a very spiritual practice, creating a feeling of ease and contentment.

Be more mindful

Mindfulness is all about paying more attention to the present moment, focusing on your current thoughts and feelings and what is going on around you right now. Some examples of how this might manifest itself in your life include:

• meditation and breathwork
• paying full attention to the little things you do each day as part of your routines such as taking a shower, brushing your teeth, eating your breakfast, making your bed, brushing your hair or getting dressed. This will help you to change the focus from rumination about the past or worrying about the future
• taking a walk in nature and becoming really conscious of your immediate surroundings – use your five senses to explore the environment
• working on one thing at a time – avoid trying to multi-task (which is a complete myth anyway as you can read here)
• eat mindfully – really pay attention to what you’re eating, how it tastes, how it feels in your mouth, how it is making you feel (this is also good for making sure your eat slowly and stop when you start to feel full and satisfied)
• use the 5,4,3,2,1 grounding technique to bring you back to the present moment (this is particularly useful if you start to become anxious about something)
• do some journalling – writing your thoughts, feelings and experiences in a journal is a great way to slow down and become aware of how things are for you right now
• try movement meditation – most of us associate meditation with sitting or lying very still and focusing on the breathe. However, this is just one example of how to meditate. Check out this article for seven popular styles of movement which are meditative in their nature.

Start a slower and more relaxing morning routine

Your morning routine has the power to set you up for a calm, happy and productive day or leave you stressed out, tired and wanting to go back to bed. For a gentle start to your day, try the following tips:

• prepare for your day the night before – check your planner to see what you have scheduled for tomorrow, write a list of intentions for the next day or choose your priorities from your to do list, choose your outfit and check to see if it needs ironing or unfolding to let the creases drop, if you are going out somewhere, pack your bag ready.
• wake up early – plan to get up at a time which gives you the opportunity to get ready without rushing (this might involve going to bed earlier or other tweaks to your evening routine to encourage restful sleep)
• open your curtains or blinds to let natural light in, or, during winter, use a sunrise simulation lamp to mimic the effects.
• try journalling – this could be completing the morning entry of The Five Minute Journal like I do, doing morning pages or making note of a few things or people you are grateful for
• avoid reaching for your phone – checking our phones as soon as we get up is an automatic reaction for most of us but it has been shown to have negative effects on the brain. Issues include heightened stress and anxiety levels, poor performance levels at work, lack of productivity as well as loss of our precious time. Instead, eat your breakfast mindfully and slowly, take yourself outside to get some morning light, do some gentle stretches or record your thoughts, feelings or daily gratitudes.
• choose a slow living activity to put you in the right mindset – read a chapter from a motivational book, listen to a podcast, make a nutritious breakfast, savour your morning coffee (rather than downing it when it’s too hot or going cold), sit outside and watch the sunrise, close your eyes and focus on your breathing or flick through your favourite magazine. Make the most of rising early before you start to tackle your to do list or head off to work.

Final words…

I hope you’ve found the above tips useful and are motivated to try some of them. I know that making lifestyle changes can be quite difficult and require time and commitment. You might want to try to transform many aspects of your current life but doing too much at once will most definitely lead to overwhelm and the temptation to give up. I recommend choosing one thing to focus on and, where possible, enlist the help and support of your partner or a close member of the family or a good friend. I also encourage you to regularly evaluate and reflect on how things are going for you and consider if the small change you’ve made is having the desired effect. This will help you to refocus and serve as a good reminder of why you started.