Tag: mental illness

Posted in Bipolar disorder, mental health, mental illness, physical health, relationships, wellbeing, wellness

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Hypomania in Bipolar Disorder, including my personal experience

Posted on by Laura

Right now, I’m going through a period of hypomania as part of my bipolar disorder. It seems to have been brought on by Covid-19 because, despite feeling awful physically, my mind was racing and I was getting less than 4 hours sleep in total. Desperately craving some calm to help myself recover from my temporary illness, I turned to a packet containing medication I was given when I was getting used to my bipolar meds namely Diazepam. I thought as I recovered from the virus, things would settle down but so far, as I write this post, they haven’t. I’m trying desperately to do mindful activities to help myself get back to a stable state (what I would usually describe as my ‘normal’) but it’s proving difficult and I’m worrying that I’m going to get worse.

As part of my hypomanic episode, I’ve got literally hundreds of ideas for blog posts, creative pursuits, ways to improve my life and things I absolutely need to start doing. In some ways this is good as, before Christmas, I was struggling with tiredness and didn’t want to do as much with my day and worries that I was becoming depressed filled my mind. However, being ‘high’ means I’m constantly adding to my to do list (or my ‘must do’ list as it feels) and I find myself working on ‘projects’ until late evening and not wanting to stop. And then, surprise surprise, my mind is full of stuff and I’m struggling to switch off when my husband and I settle down to watch TV and I’m finding sleep just will not come.

My husband is still feeling tired from Covid and by the end of the working day, he’s exhausted and finding it difficult to listen and pay attention to my constant witterings. You see, when my mind is full of thoughts and ideas, I get verbal diarrhoea which is not good news for me or my husband – I can’t stop talking and I talk so fast that he can’t keep up. Even my text messages become long and waffly! And if my husband asks a question that has already been answered or he’s failed to compute something I’ve said, I’ll become irritated and short with him.

Talking of being irritated. I’m getting annoyed with all kinds of people and things. A slow driver in front of me on the way to the supermarket. Someone who doesn’t say thanks when I let them pull out. Ink on my hand because of being a leftie. The queue at the post office meaning I have to wait to collect my Amazon order. Having a headache because I’ve failed to drink enough water during the day. The list goes on, and on, and on!

I’ve also noticed that I’m buying more ‘stuff’ in a bid to improve my life. Luckily, I don’t struggle with mania (as I have bipolar 2) so I won’t make huge purchases like a brand new car or an expensive holiday, but things become much more attractive when I’m high. I was in TKMaxx a few days ago, and the more I looked around, the more I wanted things and so I made my purchases (a new pen pot, a cute bird mobile phone holder and 2 gorgeous sky blue matching chopping boards) and swiftly left the shop. My husband will never say no to something that I really want and it makes me feel guilty afterwards when I’m back to my ‘normal’ stable self and our expenses for the month are way more than usual.

These are a few of the difficulties I face which could be described as ‘bad’, but what about the ugly? By ugly, I don’t of course, mean that I turn into a grotesque monster who people can’t stand to look at. I’m really referring to the effects that hypomania can have on character, traits or behaviour. For example, I can have a short temper and might raise my voice to my husband in frustration for being too slow to answer a question, forgetting something, not getting ready to go out fast enough or for asking me to repeat something I’ve said (when talking at speed and not stopping). I might also make comments about someone that I would consider to be nasty at any other time. Or my inflated ego might make me believe that I’m superior to others and that I could do a better job than them. Although I may or may not say things out loud, I don’t want to be someone who voices or thinks horrible things.

In the past, when I was on a high dose of antidepressants and no mood stabiliser, I would sometimes believe I was better than every teacher in the school and that they weren’t as dedicated as me because they took a proper lunchbreak or left before the school closed at 6pm. I would also often speak in a way which to others, might sound like I was full of my own self-importance. Then, I would rush around trying to do everything at once in a bid to maintain the illusion that I was the best! Needless to say, after trying to keep going and going like a Duracell Bunny, I would inevitably crash and either become physically unwell, mentally exhausted or depressed.

Before my diagnosis, I would go through lengthy periods of depression where I had no confidence in myself and got anxious and cried on a daily basis. I also sought reassurance from my husband constantly. However, when going through a period of hypomania, I genuinely believed that I didn’t need anyone’s help and support and that I no longer needed a husband / family / friends for encouragement, support or just to be there. Especially as everyone and everything seemed to irritate or anger me.

Over the years, I’ve learn to apply strategies to calm myself down and the medication I take helps immensely. However, I will never be cured so I am learning to live with my relatively recently diagnosed illness (even though I believe I’ve had the condition since my late teens) and my husband is incredibly patient with me and supports me in any way he can. Whether I listen to his advice or not depends on my mood! However, I’m grateful to have found someone so wonderful to share my life with and put up with my changing moods.

Final words…

I’m hoping that today’s post has given you an insight into the effects that hypomania can have on an individual. I believe it’s important for everyone to know a little bit about it as it’s likely that most people will know someone who is bipolar, even if they’re not aware of an individual’s diagnosis. If any of the writing doesn’t make sense, it will be because most of the above was written at 4am on my phone whilst I sat downstairs frustrated that my mind wouldn’t rest!

It’s taken me at least a week to finish and publish the above and I’m pleased to say that things are starting to settle down. I’m no longer taking diazepam for sleep and my mind has started to calm down a little. I still have lots of ideas and projects but I’m trying to make sure I only work on those which add value to my life. I’m also adopting the done is better than perfect way of doing things. Hopefully, I’ll continue to head in the right direction towards ‘stable’ a term I’m trying to use to describe my state rather than ‘normal’.

If you would like to know more about bipolar disorder and how it affects individuals or you suspect a love one may have the condition, the NHS website has pages of really useful information, including more detail about its presentation . Although symptoms different from person to person, there are set list of signs which are likely to be visible.

Thanks for reading!

Posted in compassion, mental health

Monday Matters: 7 ways you can offer support to someone with a mental illness

Posted on by Laura
Photo credit: Laura Jones for Keeping It Creative

I’m really lucky to have a very supportive husband who does everything he can to help when I’m struggling with my mental health. He seems to know exactly what to do and what to say and, although he will admit that life is hard for him too when I’m going through a period of difficulty (albeit only saying this when I’m feeling well again) he works tirelessly to look after me and make things easier, whilst at the same time, maintaining a busy full time job. With this is mind and knowing that most of us will have a partner, friend, family member or colleague who has mental health issues at some point, here are 7 ways that you can offer much needed support.

Ask ‘How are you? Twice.

Most of us will be able to sense if someone we know is having difficulties. They may seem a little quiet, look washed out or just not quite their usual self. The ‘Ask twice’ campaign recognises that most of us, when asked ‘How are you?’ tend to offer up the standard response of ‘I’m fine’ or ‘I’m okay’, even when we’re really not. Asking a second time can make all the difference as it can let the person know that you’re really interested in their welfare. It’s up to them whether or not they choose to open up to you, but at least you’ve let them know that you are there if they need you.

Make time to listen

Before you make the effort to ask someone if they’re really okay, it’s a good idea to think carefully about when is a good time for a mental health and wellbeing conversation. If they do choose to open up, it’s important that you both have a lengthy window for a chat and an appropriate space to too. Picking a quiet place with no distractions shows that you are seriously interested in what they have to say and also helps the person know that they won’t be overheard by others.

Remember, some people may never have spoken about their mental health before so might be worried about opening up and sharing how they feel. Others, like me, may have shared their thoughts and feelings with a variety of people including therapists and doctors. They may also have already received a diagnosis from a health professional. In this case, they may just need a listening ear, some reassurance or even a hug (according to my reading, a cautious cuddle is possible from 17th May when this post goes live!). In making a judgement about what the individual needs good listening skills are essential. Some basics include:

  • be patient and listen really carefully – lots of eye contact, supportive gestures such as a nod or supportive words such as ‘take your time’.
  • avoid second guessing – try not to jump in too quickly or make assumptions about what the person is saying
  • offer phrases which validate what the person is saying e.g. ‘that must be really hard’ rather than offering advice or solutions – don’t try to fix them!
  • avoid phrases which dismiss the person’s feelings or suggest that they can easily change how they feel e.g. don’t say things like ‘you’ll be fine’, ‘I know how you feel’, ‘everyone feels this way’, ‘it could be worse’ or ‘cheer up’.
  • use open ended questions e.g. ‘is there something I can do to help?’ ‘are there any signs I can look out for which might tell me you’re struggling?’
  • paraphrase – repeat back what they’ve said in similar words so you can check you understand fully
  • offer them reassurance – remind them that they have the strength to get through this, they have a support network to help them and that thing are going to be okay.

Read up on the person’s particular health condition

Everyone’s experience of mental health difficulties are different but there are some common symptoms to look out for and read up on. There’s lots of information available online and good places to start include the NHS Website and Mind. For specific conditions, you can also check out dedicated websites such as Anxiety UK, Bipolar UK, PTSD UK and ADHD UK. You might want to find out for yourself or you might want to share these resources with the individual so they can learn more about their diagnosis or discover self help strategies. There are also online communities which enable both of you to ‘meet’ others to share experiences, stories and tips for managing particular conditions.

Offer practical help

With some mental health conditions, day-to-day living becomes really difficult. Offering support such as getting shopping, making a nutritious meal, giving them a lift to a medical appointment or doing a household chore for them can be a big help. Other support you could offer includes working with them to make a list of things to share with the doctor (or questions to ask), reading literature about mental health conditions either in booklets or online and helping them to make notes, developing a bank of self help strategies to try.

Regularly check in with them

After the initial chat with the person, make sure it doesn’t end there. Someone who is depressed, anxious or struggling in some other way is very likely to withdraw from social contact with friends and family, but this kind of isolation can make things worse. Checking in with them regularly and occasionally suggesting short, one-to-one get togethers such as a quick coffee or a brief walk around a local park reminds them that you care and are still thinking about them. They might turn down the face-to-face contact if they’re feeling really bad but at least they will know that you’re there.

Even if you don’t see the person regularly, you can still show them you’re thinking about them by sending regular texts asking them how they’re doing or inviting them for coffee, a walk in the park or something similar. You might only get a few lines back or sometimes no reply at all but remember that your words are being read and are helpful.

Support them in getting further help

Depending on where the person is in their mental health journey, this might be offering to go with them when they visit their GP, looking into different treatment options or going online to find out more about a particular condition and self help strategies which are recommended. You could even offer to do something together which might help, such as going for regular walks in the sunshine, attending yoga classes or going to a support group.

Don’t forget to look after yourself too

Listening to and supporting someone who has a mental health difficulty can be challenging and at times very draining. You may find yourself getting upset or struggle to cope with seeing someone you love having such a tough time. If you live with the person, you might also be taking on the majority of or all household activities and chores such as cooking, cleaning, tidying and child care. In order to look after someone else as much as you can, it’s really important to find some time to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. If you are adopting the role of caregiver when the person is unwell, you’re likely to need to have regular breaks where you spend some time alone or with others. And remember to set some boundaries between yourself and the person you’re looking after so that as well as having some space, they’re reminded that you have personal needs and limits too.

Final words

I really hope you’ve found today’s post useful. Figures suggest that about 1 in 4 people experience mental health problems every year and the lockdown restrictions which have been in place during 2020 and 2021 have made things particularly difficult for a lot of us. Therefore, it’s likely that at least one of your immediate family, close friends or colleagues may be finding things hard right now and could benefit from your help and support.