Sometimes, no matter how positive you feel when you wake up, particular events, issues, frustrations and even certain people’s attitudes can put a dampener on things and leave you feeling deflated. You probably wish you hadn’t let these parts of your day affect you as much as they have but it’s a natural part of life to experience ups and downs. When low mood strikes, there are a number of ways in which you can help yourself to feel better. Today, I’m sharing 8 tried and tested ideas which I’ve found helpful and I promise none of them include eating a gigantic bar of chocolate or any other highly calorific item!
Get out in nature
If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know that I’m a big fan of getting out in nature, whether that’s spending some time in my garden, heading to my local woodland park or even going to the beach to walk on the sand or paddle in the sea. It doesn’t have to be for long – just a few minutes of fresh air can make the world of difference to how you feel.
Listen to some upbeat tunes (even better, dance and sing too)
I first wrote about the benefits of listening to music back in 2021 and, as part of the post, I shared a page I’d created in my bullet journal with a mood boosting playlist. Musical taste is incredibly personal but choosing some upbeat songs to boogie, sing and listen along to can put you in a much better frame of mind. Here’s some ideas for uplifting tracks to find on YouTube, Apple Music or whatever happens to be your favourite resource to listen to through headphones or to blast out through your speakers (if it won’t disturb anyone):
Can’t Stop The Feeling By Justin Timberlake
I Got a Feeling By The Black Eyed Peas
Happy By Pharrell Williams
22 By Taylor Swift
Walking On Sunshine By Katrina & The Waves
Song 2 By Blur
Love Shack By B-52s
Roar By Katy Perry
Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns N’ Roses
Good Feelin’ By Flo Rida
Watermelon Sugar By Harry Styles
Dance Monkey By Tones And I
Groove Is In The Heart By Deee-lite
Blinding Lights By The Weeknd
Havana By Camila Cabello Feat. Young Thug
Whatever your favourite style of music, jot down an uplifting songs list or create a track list on your device and keep it in a memorable location (either on paper or digitally) to refer to when you need it.
Get moving
On the subject of moving our body, as an alternative to dancing along to your favourite tracks, you could also explore other forms of exercise in a bid to boost your mood. Any type of physical activity that raises your heart rate has been shown to release endorphins in the body. These hormones and neurotransmitters, which have been described as ‘a natural high’, will have you feeling better in minutes. Here’s some fun / invigorating summer time activities to try:
Spend some time in your garden pulling weeds, breaking up compacted soil in your borders, cutting your lawn, deadheading faded blooms, pruning bushes and shrubs, checking for hidden pests and watering thirst plants with a heavy watering can.
Get your bike out of the garage, dust it off and head to a trail of your choice. I like to go to the coast as it’s a straight stretch of cycle path which is wide enough for if I get the wobbles but if you search ‘easy bike rides near me’ you can explore different options available to you in your locality.
Play a game or do a physical activity that you used to enjoy as a kid – frisbee, bouncing a ball off a wall / bat / the ground,
Clean and or tidy your desk / room / house, then sit back and enjoy the feeling that comes with a neat and dust free space.
Take a brisk walk around the block and see if you can notice anything new or different – maybe someone in your immediate area has painted their fence, changed their car, got a new pet, weeded their driveway etc. Maybe the council has added a new sign, planted some young trees or mown the grass in another street. If you can’t see anything that’s changed, maybe you could think of some changes you would like to make if you were in charge!
Soak up some sunshine
Sunlight is a natural source of Vitamin D which has been scientifically proven to regulate your mood. If it’s a nice day, get your sunglasses and some sun protection on and feel the warmth on your skin. I like to sit on our bench or one of our patio chairs in the garden and close my eyes for some mindful listening to accompany the experience. This is a great way to get into a meditative state as it gives you something to focus on and minimises the change of your mind wandering towards the major or minor irritations I mentioned previously. In the summer, there’s generally lots of daytime sounds whether it’s someone mowing the lawn, children laughing, birds tweeting or even distant traffic noises.
What a video of something cute or funny
Open up YouTube on your phone or computer and search for cute or funny videos of, plus the name of your favourite pet or animal. Anyone who’s been following my blog for a while is likely to know my animal of choice is a Syrian hamster, but I can guarantee that there are videos out there to suit all whether that’s woodland birds, different pets or even more unusual choices like sealions, squirrels, polar bears or hedgehogs.
Dig out your photograph albums
Looking back at old photographs (and/or journals if you do memory keeping like I do) is a great way to bring to mind happy memories of exciting life events, people in your life (past and present) and places you’ve been. And if you’re one of those people who rarely print your images off, why not flick through those on your phone and select some to add to an album later. Taking time on your own to quietly sit and view several years worth of photographs can be very therapeutic, as can sharing them with loved ones either in person or by contacting them via phone, WhatsApp, email or even letter (pretty paper optional!).
Practise gratitude
Grab a piece of paper or your journal and make a list of five small things you’re grateful for in your life right now. Research shows that a consistent gratitude practice has so many health and wellbeing benefits so give it a try starting today and see how it makes you feel. Check out this blog post to learn more.
Make a list of things you love about yourself
Whilst you’ve got a pen and paper to hand, here’s another positive exercise to try. Write a title ‘Things I love about myself’ at the top of the page and then make a list of your best qualities. This could include physical aspects such as your smile, your lovely, long locks, your clear skin and healthy looking nails, your character traits, e.g. kindness, good analytical skills, reliability, optimism and so on, and things you’re really good at like cooking, motivating yourself, helping others, solving problems etc. Once you written as much as you can right now, try displaying your list somewhere so you can refer to it when you need a mood boost, or add to it when something comes to mind.
Inhale an uplifting scent
If you know anything about aromatherapy, you’ll probably be aware that some scents are thought to be uplifting and mood boosting. I have a few little essential oil bottles which I got from the Body Shop in strawberry, raspberry and exotic which I love to inhale at any given opportunity. My scents of choice are fruity smells but below are a list of classic options which I collected from various websites via Google.
vanilla
peppermint
jasmine
citrus scents including orange, lemon and grapefruit
juicy fruits like peaches, pear and pineapple
relaxing scents like lavender, ylang, ylang and chamomile
spicy scents such as ginger, cinnamon and clove
fresh forest options such as pine and eucalyptus
Of course, it’s important to experiment and see which you prefer (and think about the mood you want to create such as uplifting or relaxing) but these should get you started with that. As you learn more about aromatherapy, you might like to try combining scents to create your perfect mood booster!
Final words…
I hope you’ve found today’s post beneficial and the ideas will motivate you to be pro-active next time you find yourself in a funk or stressed by particular events in your day. If I haven’t shared your favourite way to uplift your mood, or relax when tensions are high, feel free to add it in the comments as it may help someone else to manage their mood in the future along with my ideas.
Thanks for reading and I’ll be back with another wellbeing post very soon,
Those of you who follow my blog and regularly take the time to read my posts will know that I’ve recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2. In brief, Bipolar Disorder is a mental health condition which is characterised by extreme mood swings including bouts of low mood known as depression, periods of elevated or high mood known as mania or hypomania and euthymic state where the mood is stable. Although it’s taken until the age of 43 to get what I now feel is an accurate diagnosis, I’ve been experiencing issues with my mood since the age of around 17 and, even though I’m not an expert in mental health conditions, I have developed a high level of self awareness through the years and have come to learn what helps me manage my moods and what doesn’t. So, in today’s Monday Matters, I’m going to talk about how important it is to be self- aware (which I believe I’m pretty good at) and self-accepting (which I’m probably not so good at – yet!). I’m also going to touch upon ways in which an individual can begin to make improvements and develop in both areas.
What is self awareness?
Self-awareness is a conscious knowledge of one’s own character, behaviours and feelings. Basically, it’s all about knowing exactly who you are and why you behave in the way you do. Self-awareness is not an inherent trait – it’s something than can be learnt and cultivated using a range of reflection and introspection techniques.
I believe increased self-awareness is vital in helping us to find ways of managing a range of mental health conditions including bipolar disorder, depression and S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). It can also help anyone who has other issues with their moods too for example, in early pregnancy or in the days leading up to a period.
How does self-awareness help us to manage mood disorders?
Enables you to make helpful choices in terms of coping strategies If you know yourself well, you will be able to identify and describe how you feel more easily and be able to make better choices in terms of self help and coping strategies. For example, when you are depressed, you may need to focus on celebrating small achievements, practising gratitude or using distraction techniques to change the focus from negative thoughts. If you’re feeling manic, hypomanic, wound up or angry, you may need to turn to relaxation techniques or use some soothing rhythm breathing to create a sense of calm.
Helps you spot patterns and cycles If you have full knowledge of what your different moods look like e.g. the key features of your depressive cycle, or how you present when you are manic or hypomanic, then you can more easily spot patterns or cycles quickly and be more pro-active in managing your episodes. For example, careful monitoring has helped me to identify the times of year when I get depressed, triggers which impact on my mood and how long my cycles of low / high mood tend to last. This was particularly useful to share with my CPN (community psychiatric nurse) and the psychiatric but also really helps me to cope with my illness.
You can establish what works and what doesn’t more easily Through taking a step back and thinking about issues I’ve had in the past, I’m able to identify what works e.g. sticking to a routine, going for daily walks, practising yoga and mindfulness and what doesn’t work e.g. ruminating over past mistakes, avoiding all contact with friends and family.
Makes therapy even more useful When you attend therapy sessions, whether you access them via the NHS or if you pay for them privately, it’s really important to ensure quick progress due to the time constraints e.g. with CBT offered by the NHS there’s a maximum number of sessions you can have and if you are paying for each session you want to feel that each hour is worth the cost. Having a good understanding of how you’ve been feeling, the ability to explain the changes you’ve made and the impact they’ve had can all help with presenting issues, solving problems and making progress with your treatment. Obviously, professionals are very good at picking apart what you say but it helps speed up the process so you get better faster and learn new skills with maximum efficiency.
Helps you communicate better with others Whoever you are talking to about your illness, be it your CPN, psychiatrist, best friend, partner, family member or work colleague, having the confidence in your ability to explain how you feel and what you think might help or exacerbate your issues, is vital if you want help and support or to feel listened to. This can improve your relationships in a number of ways so that, depending on who you are talking to, you might feel accepted, closer in your friendships, better understood, more confident and able to assertive. It might also help others to see things from your point of view so that they can be more empathetic.
Improved personal and work relationships Being aware of yourself and your moods is useful for maintaining positive relationships with your partner, family, friends and work colleagues. If you know, for example that you are feeling particularly irritable, you can bear this is mind when you engage with others. For example, I know that one of my symptoms of hypomania is extreme irritability and that this results in little annoyances becoming hugely frustrating and me becoming less tolerant of situations and people. I have to try really hard not to display my irritation too much, accepting that it is my illness causing the difficulties and that others are not the issue. By recognising this symptom of my bipolar disorder, I can take steps to manage my feelings and hopefully avoid upsetting others with what I say and what I do. It doesn’t always work, but at least the awareness is there.
Another part of self-awareness is your knowledge of how you come across to other people. Sometimes people can become overly anxious about this to the point of becoming obsessed about what other people might think of them, but I think a little acknowledgement in this area can be useful. For example, in terms of my bipolar disorder, when my mood is stable, I’m probably seen as articulate, friendly, assertive and optimistic, whereas when I’m depressed, I’m probably viewed as quiet, negative and passive. During periods of hypomania, people are likely to see me as irritable, agitated, easily distracted, overly forward and impulsive. By knowing how you present to others, you can help your partner, family, friends and work colleagues to understand how your mood disorder impacts on you and it can also help them spot signs of deteriorating mental health so they can offer support.
What are some easy ways to develop my self-awareness?
You can improve your self-awareness by working with a trained therapist or by using a range of self help style strategies or a combination of both. Here are some ideas which may help.
Therapy Therapy sessions can be really useful for getting to grips with difficulties and the effect that thoughts, feelings and behaviours can have on each other and on our lives. I’ve had individual sessions which focus on CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) techniques and group sessions which have looked at compassion, mindfulness techniques and self-acceptance (i.e. it’s not your fault that you have difficulties etc) All of the forms of therapy I’ve accessed have been helpful and I’ve taken lots from them all but I think CBT is particularly good for finding out about yourself.
Journalling I wrote about the positive impacts of journalling a few weeks ago and if you choose a reflective style, you can find out lots about yourself, how you interact with others and positive and negative ways in which you tend to solve (or exacerbate) problems in every day life. You can either choose a free-form style where you just write what comes into your head, or a more structured style where you respond to particular prompts. Either way can be really eye opening. Try searching ‘journaling prompts’ on Pinterest and make a list of some of your favourites in your bullet journal or other notebook so you can pick and choose.
Try to be more open-minded It’s easy to think that our way of doing something is the best way or that our opinion is more valid than others, but what if someone else’s way is better or when you listen carefully enough, you find that a different opinion makes more sense or is more logical? Even if you don’t agree with another person, you should always try to listen to their point of view as it helps you learn things about yourself and can help you develop your own potential.
Take the helicopter view This one is a CBT technique and one which can be really difficult to do (for me anyway!). Basically, it’s a metaphor for taking a step back to see the bigger picture. If we’re too close in, our emotions take over and we lose the sense of perspective which we would likely gain if we were less involved. If you imagine a helicopter taking off and viewing your problem for a little further away, it would be able to assess the situation with clarity, see why you are reacting the way you are, offer impartial advice (as would be offered to you by a close friend) and take time to consider the best solution based on all of the information. If you would like more information about this click here for further explanation and a PDF worksheet.
Make some ‘about you’ lists If you love writing lists as much as I do, this is one which you’ll really enjoy whilst finding out about yourself as you go. Rather than writing endless to-do lists, why not write about you, your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, what makes you happy, a personal bucket list etc. And no, this is not self-indulgent, it’s perfectly okay to make things all about you every once in a while – especially if you helps you get to know yourself and makes it easier to manage your moods.
Keep a mood diary I see lots of bullet journal spread mood trackers on Pinterest and Instagram which look really pretty any colourful by the end of the month due to different colours for the various moods. However, in my opinion, they tend to contain limited information and are therefore of limited use, as they just show that a person’s mood has changed throughout the month or has mainly stayed the same. Personally, I prefer to keep a detailed mood diary as this enables me to make notes about my mood alongside what has triggered it. I also like to be able to describe changes in my mood from one part of the day to the next. For example, I might wake up feeling really happy and full of energy, but then something might trigger a completely different mood e.g. I might see or hear something which upsets me or makes me cross. I find the Bipolar UK Mood Scale and Diary really useful as a starting point for tracking moods but I also like to create more detailed records by utilising space in sheets such as this one from Get Self Help. The first is designed to help individuals with lived experience of the various types of Bipolar Disorder but the second can be used by anyone who is dealing with mood changes.
What is self-acceptance?
Self-acceptance is about accepting everything about yourself – the good and the bad, the rough and the smooth. It’s about recognising that we are all unique, complex human beings with strengths and weaknesses. It’s also about knowing than no-one is perfect and that we all make mistakes and have periods of difficulty in our lives.
Self-acceptance is not about making excuses for bad or inappropriate behaviour, but it does make it easier for us to evaluate how our feelings and emotions may affect our actions so we can work on making changes for the better or recognising why we might be struggling with some of our relationships.
In my opinion, self-acceptance can be pretty difficult, especially if you have perfectionist tendencies like I do. Most of us are easily able to accept the good bits about ourselves, but can the same be said about our flaws and our failures?
How can I learn to accept myself?
Practise self compassion If you’re having a tough time at the moment, one of the worst things you can do is beat yourself up about it. During periods of difficulty, you need to be as compassionate towards yourself as you can. If you were ill with sickness or a headache you generally wouldn’t think twice about resting up, spending the day in bed or whatever you need to get well again. The same needs to apply during periods of high or low mood. Be kind and accept that you’re not your usual self and then either ask for help from one of your supporters or choose appropriate coping strategies that you know work. If you find it difficult to practise self compassion, think about what a good friend would say to you to make you feel better – then say it to yourself. Click here for some more ideas.
Be openly curious rather than judgemental
This is a primary aspect of mindfulness and one which I believe can be hugely helpful during times of difficult emotions. Being curious about what is going on for us allows us to accept what it happening and notice the associated feelings. For example, we might note that we feel anxious or angry and then explore the affect that this is having on us in terms of bodily sensations e.g. tension in the shoulders or tightness in the facial muscles. Then, rather than judging the feelings and sensations as good or bad, we accept that they are there are are just part of our experience.
Be proud of your strengths and celebrate your achievements We all have lots of strengths and we have all achieved things in our life (learning to manage our mental health is one of them). On a day when your mood is stable and you’re feeling okay, try making a list of things you’re good at and another of all of your achievements. So for example, you might be good at sleeping, drawing, cooking, papercrafting, planning, organising etc. You may have completed a degree or a distance learning course. You could be proud of yourself for all kinds of reasons such as singing in a choir, doing a presentation in front of others, teaching your children to have good manners or even developing a successful planning system in your bullet journal.
Find out more about your diagnosis Having recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (2) I am still coming to terms with accepting my diagnosis and learning more about the condition – including finding out about Lithium which is the medication I’ve been put on. For me, this was pretty straight forward as I have been dealing with the symptoms of the illness for a long time and it was more a case of finally being offered an explanation for the difficulties I have. But, everyone is different and you need to be patient with yourself and others in getting to grips with your mood disorder and what it means for you. The worst part for me, is knowing that I may improve my ability to manage my moods, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to have difficulties in the future. This will take time to accept and also, due to different medication, I won’t know the effect this will have on my mood cycle in the future.
Try to be more accepting of others You might think this is a strange one to have on a list of ways to accept yourself, but bear with me! If you learn to accept others for who they are and accept that you can’t change how others think, feel and react, then you can focus on how you react to them. This can help you accept that everyone is different and we all have valid thoughts, ideas, beliefs etc. By doing this, you can increase your tolerance levels and improve your relationships with others whether it’s a romantic relationship that you want to develop or a work relationship which you find difficult to bear. It will also help you see that there’s no set right or wrong way to do things and may help you be more assertive, stopping you from worrying about the approval of others so much.
Use positive self talkAffirmations are a great way of accepting yourself as you are and recognising your strength to recover from periods of difficulty. Here are some good examples:
I choose to love and accept myself
I love and appreciate myself
I have many accomplishments that are worth celebrating
I value myself above all else
I’m proud of myself and my achievements
I’m filled with gratitude for who I am
I love that I am real, rather than perfect
I have enough, I do enough and I am enough
I am proud of myself for daring to try.
I am resilient and can get through this.
Final words…
Mood disorders are very common and there are lots of us out there who are striving to help ourselves manage our condition in any way we can. Even if you don’t have a diagnosis, I hope today’s post has been useful in some way. I appreciate that it is difficult to put into practice some or all of the ideas when you’re really struggling but if you develop a routine of self care during periods of euthymic (stable) mood it should be a little easier to keep going during high or low periods.
Keeping it creative 