I talk about the importance of being grateful for things in your life regularly and today I want to tell a story which illustrates how something negative, in this case me being poorly yesterday, can lead to a number of positives and experiences for which I am hugely grateful. I hope you enjoy reading and it helps to show how we should be thankful for the little things rather than dwelling on the not so good.
Yesterday, I had a dodgy stomach with pain and bloating and although I tried to keep myself busy to keep my mind of the symptoms, I took myself off to bed and read my book later in the afternoon. I was really productive in the morning, but by lunchtime, I was feeling less enthusiastic. I also remembered that I had two fitness classes booked to make up for the fact I couldn’t do Pilates the week before.
At mid-day, I went to the gym for my legs, bums and tums class, as I would be charged £4 for non attendance or late cancellation, but in the end decided to go back home as doing stomach crunches and other tummy exercises wasn’t really a good idea and I didnt want to feel worse. I told several of my friends from the class on my way out and they sympathised and told me that they hoped I was better soon and had made the right decision to head home. I also saw the instructor who asked me if I was okay and told me to curl up on the settee for the rest of the day. I left the gym feeling grateful for the kind words of friends I’ve made in my classes and less guilty that I was missing my regular fitness class.
Before going home, I popped to the Sainsburys next door to pick up a few bland items for my lunch, namely some rice cakes and cheese and a tiny but indulgent caramel flavoured dessert. There were no small trolleys to be found in their usual location in the trolley park by the building, so I needed to go off searching for one. I saw an elderly man who was wondering what to do about the lack of smaller trolleys. I asked him if that is what he was after and told him to wait there as I could spy some across the car park. I hot footed it there and grabbed two before quickly wheeling them across the tarmac, passing one to the grateful gentleman with a smile. As he entered the supermarket, I heard him telling his wife about my good deed and, despite wanting to get home quickly, I felt good that I’d had a positive impact on his day.
But the best surprising positive of my day was yet to come!
As I’d spent most of the day indoors, I told my husband that I was going to sit outside on our back garden bench and get some fresh air. By this time, it was 8 o’clock and therefore dark but I love to sit and enjoy the peace and quite out there, whatever hour it is. In the late evening, we sometimes spot one of the frogs from our tiny wildlife pond and have seen other small creatures such as a mouse or a shrew. My husband said he would join me shortly and when he did, I enjoyed our chat about all sorts of things without any distractions such as our phones or tablets. However, all of a sudden, he paused and said really quietly “what on earth is that perched on top of the parasol?”. It was difficult to see with it being dark but I had brought a torch out with me and I shone it on the grass so it lit up the night a little. We were shocked, and amazed to see that it was a little tawny owl looking straight at us! It didn’t stay long as the torch light scared it but we watched it as it took flight, showing us its beautiful wing span in the moonlight. It was a wonderful experience for us, with us both being nature, wildlife and bird lovers and it made me so happy. It was a lovely end to our day and I was beaming inside about it for hours afterwards.
If I hadn’t been ill yesterday, none of these events would have happened and my day would probably have been relatively uneventful. I had so many highlights to write in my Five Minute Journal and I will remember our opportunity to see a tawny owl close up for a long time to come. I hope you enjoyed the story of my day and it has reminded you to keep looking for the positives however big or small they are.
Over the last few months, I’ve read a couple of books on the topic of manifestation – ‘Make It Happen – Manifest the life of your dreams’ by Jordanna Levin and ‘Manifest – 7 Steps to Living your Best Life by Roxie Nafousi. I found both of them really interesting and learnt a lot about the theories behind manifestation and things to work on to maximise your chances of creating the life of your dreams or your best life as mentioned in the titles. Today, I hope to provide a summary of the concept and my key take aways from both books so you can use the ideas to work on your goals for 2023.
Both authors talk about the success they’ve had with manifesting everything they’ve wanted in their lives so far and the steps they’ve taken to get there. They also discuss some of the struggles they’ve had in the past and how they’ve overcome them through the power of manifestation and making changes to their thoughts, feelings and attitude.
What is meant my manifestation?
There are various dictionary definitions available online, but, in short, to manifest is to make something happen. In today’s post though, I want to explore the idea that I believe was first discussed in detail by television writer, producer and author Rhonda Byrne in her documentary film and related book The Secret back in 2006 where she explained that ‘Manifesting is about breathing life into your goals through action, emotions and belief’.
Levin adds to this in her book by introducing her ‘Manifestation Equation’ which is states that:
and is based on four laws – The Law Of Attraction, The Law Of Vibration, The Law Of Action and The Law of Rhythm.
Whilst Nafousi, in her first of two books on the subject, describes manifesting as ‘a meeting of science and wisdom’ and ‘a philosophy to live by and a self-development practice to help you live your best life’.
Finding clarity
The first step of manifesting is to get clear on what you want you want from your life. As Nafousi states ‘…you can’t get to where you want to go if you don’t know where it is you are headed’. A helpful practice for this is to create a vision board filled with your intentions. This can be done digitally on your computer, or physically as a display, and commonly includes inspiring pictures and/or words representing your dreams and aspirations. If you prefer written methods, you might like to write a list in a special manifestation journal and expand on your intentions for each. Another option to try, is following a guided visualisation meditation specifically for manifestation, where you consider what you ideal life would look like and even more importantly, what it would feel like if you already had what you desire. There’s a range available online, some for a small cost and others free. You might also want to think about the kind of person you want to be or take time to explore your core values. Jordanna has two free PDF resources for this which include a comprehensive list of core values and a long list of personality traits. I found both to be extremely useful. Finally, using a Wheel of Life to explore where you are right now and where you wish to be in the future can also help you make plans and set intentions or goals.
Whatever methods you use to set your intentions, it’s recommended that you work on a small number – a maximum of five at a time can help to keep them powerful. Also, the advice is to write them in positive language, keep them short and to the point and use present tense e.g. I am well-organised and productive, I have a happy and healthy relationship with my partner, I feel full of vitality etc.
Take action
As well as thinking about and visualising what you want in your life, you should also be prepared to take action in order to make progress towards those things. As Levin says when describing the Law Of Action – ‘you must do the things and perform the actions necessary to achieve what you are setting out to do’. You play a vital role towards creating your future so you must work to make it happen! So, for example if you want to be happy and fulfilled at work, you might start by considering you current job situation and how you feel about it. You could then take some time to journal about what aspects you enjoy and which leave you feeling dissatisfied. Having considered this, it might lead to you identify potential changes you could make or help you to realise that it is time to move on and try somewhere else or a different role. You would then have to think about and perform the necessary actions to move things on.
Raise your vibration
The scientific principle known as the Law of vibration states that everything in the universe (objects, thoughts, emotions etc.) has energy and a vibrational frequency ( from high to low). With regard to manifesting, according to this law, we need to vibrate at a similar frequency to the things we are trying to attract and the best way to do this is to work on raising our vibe. High vibration emotions include unconditional love, joy, peace, gratitude, hope and optimism, whilst particularly low vibration emotions include jealousy, anger, fear and despair. But how can we work on raising our vibration so we resonate more of these positive emotions? Here’s some of what I learnt from my reading:
Let go of fear and doubt
One of a number of ways of working on raising our vibe is to let go of fear and doubt. If you believe that you are not worthy of what you want or that you are not capable of taking action and making changes then you are unlikely to manifest those things. On the other hand, if you have faith in your abilities and are optimistic about the future, you are ready to receive everything you desire because you believe you are worthy of it. This happens because our subconscious has the power to drive us towards our dreams but also has the power to hold us back.
Our fears and doubts show up in a number of different guises including worries and insecurities, limiting beliefs, feelings of unworthiness and a lack of trust in the universe to provide for us. These can not only sabotage our chances of manifesting, they can also stop us from being aspirational with our dreams and wishes too.
Of course, ridding ourselves of fears and doubts is not something that can be done overnight, especially as many of us have been accumulating them over many years. It takes constant work and commitment (what some practitioners call deep work). Self development is achieved over time and with perseverance. It might also involve working with a therapist, life coach or mentor. who can guide you on the way and teach you new techniques for managing your thoughts and emotions and working on limiting beliefs. The main ways forward include:
exploring your thoughts and considering more realistic or alternative ways of looking at things (focusing on positive and empowering choices)
being careful about our choice of language e.g. replacing if with when, talking about what we want rather than what we don’t want, choosing positive words such as I can…, I will… etc rather than negative statements such as I can’t…, It’s too hard etc.
using positive mantras to repeat e.g. Life supports me in every possible way. I am thankful for the endless opportunities that come my way. Today I am the best version of myself. I’ll achieve everything I set out to do.
practice visualisation – imagine what it would look like and what it would feel like if you were living a life in alignment with what you desire. This can be done as a meditation or if you prefer creative writing, you could journal what your day would be like if you were living your best life.
cultivate self love and compassion – be kind to yourself and value your wellbeing. Celebrate achievements but also be patient and forgive yourself when needed. Believe in yourself and your ability to have success. Treat yourself as you would a good friend, offering support and encouragement.
Live in alignment
Another part of taking action is to align your behaviour with what you wish to manifest. It’s no good creating your vision on a board or just sitting there thinking about what you want for your like, you need to be proactive in your journey. As you work on banishing your fears and doubts, you will start to develop confidence in your abilities and this is when you can really push yourself and step out of your comfort zone. |Nafousi has this to say:
‘To manifest change, we must first create change. We must do something different, we must challenge our fears and doubts, we must act as our future self would act and we must show the universe how ready and willing we are to step into our power.’
A good way to do this is to behave the way your future self would. So, for example, if you want to be a tidy and well-organised person, you need to act like one. This could include regularly decluttering, making sure you have a place for everything and putting things away in that place when you’ve finished using them, creating a schedule for your day or writing to do lists to make sure you maximise your time, having a good sleep routine so you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to have a productive day, making tidying a priority and a habit which you see as important and of value. It could also include spending time researching and implementing habits of tidy and well-organised people and maybe asking for help and advice from friends who always have a neat and tidy home.
If you’re not sure what steps to take or changes you might need to make, Jordanna Levin’s book has chapters on different aspects of life which are full of ideas and exercises to try.
Develop an attitude of gratitude
Whilst you strive to manifest your intentions, it’s also important to be grateful for what you already have. As I’ve shared in several previous blog posts, gratitude is all about being thankful and showing appreciation for all of the things we have. Nafousi splits gratitude into three categories which I found particularly helpful – gratitude for the self, your life and the world. So, you can appreciate things about yourself such as your health, your ability to listen to others and your crafting skills. You can be thankful for what you have in your life such as a supportive partner, a beautiful home and a job you love. And, finally, you can feel grateful universal things such as good weather, connection with others and the wonder of nature.
Gratitude is a high-vibe emotion which is wonderful for your physical and mental health, your relationships, self esteem and sleep. Being grateful for things as they are now shows the world that when you do manifest something you what you want for yourself and your life, you will be super appreciative of it.
Gratitude journalling is something I do every day as part of my Five Minute Journal practice and it something that I feel really helps to develop those high vibe emotions we want to increase. I identify three things each morning to write about and then reflect on the highlights of my day (and what made these things possible) and what I’ve learnt in the evening. It doesn’t take long and it has the potential to make a huge difference to your life.
Use sources of envy to inspire you
When I was young, there seemed to be limited sources of envy. You might feel jealous of a school friend who got 10 out of 10 in her spelling test or your best mate who had pretty much every toy in the Argos catalogue / went on super expensive holidays / had a bedroom the size of the ground floor of your house or a garden full of expensive play equipment. Nowadays though, you can go on social media and be envious of the perfect lives of not only your friends, work colleagues and acquaintances, but also people you’ve never met who have the perfect Instagram feed / the energy to get up at 5 am and be super productive until 8pm / the healthiest body with flawless skin / the tidiest and most well-organised home with all the latest gadgets bought with their huge and effortless income – you get the idea. As Nafousi says in her first book ‘Social Media is a playground for comparison and a fertile land for envy to grow in’. She offers a few tips on how to manage things. One suggestion is to become more mindful of the content you engage with so that you choose only to read / explore content which you relate to, makes you feel good or inspires you in some way. You should also continue to work on removing your fears and doubts which are holding you back, some of which may present as envy and jealousy. Another potentially powerful idea is to recognise thoughts and feelings associated with low vibe emotions such as these and turn them into inspiration. So, rather than believing that they have things that you can’t have (scarcity mindset), you have the opportunity to reframe and choose to believe that you could have the same for yourself if you work hard (an attitude of abundance).
Trust that the universe has got your back
As part of your manifesting journey, you will meet challenges, difficulties and obstacles along the way. You have several choices when these tests turn up: 1) you could admit defeat, become impatient and decide you’re never going to get to where you want to be, believe you’ve failed, believe that other people have all the luck and let envy creep in basically, letting fear and doubt rule, or, 2) you could use these situations and obstacles in a more positive way to build your inner strength, resilience, courage and self belief to keep going and trust in the manifesting process. You might need to take action by do a bit of problem solving, trying different approaches, working things out by journalling how you feel, or using positive affirmations to remind yourself that you can and you will, but ultimately, if you have faith in yourself and the universe to provide for you then you can absolutely get there.
Final words…
Today’s blog post contains just a small part of what I’ve learnt about manifesting. If you want to find out more, then I particularly recommend Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life by Roxie Nafousi as a succinct introduction and her more recent book Manifest: Dive Deeper to further your knowledge. Jordanna Levin’s book Make It Happen: Manifest the life of your dreams provides a much more indepth look into manifestation and also has lots of exercises to try. It also focuses on different aspects of life which you may want to work on as part of your manifesting journey.
I hope you have found the topic matter of manifestation interesting and something which is worth exploring further. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts or related comments.
Over the last week, I’ve been doing some decluttering in my craft room. The place is overflowing with stuff and I feel like quite a few of the bits and pieces will never get used and would be better off going to a new home. Whilst sorting out some trays, I found an old magazine that I purchased last year. Flicking through it, I found a box of information about a reflective exercise that can help inject some positivity into your day. I already feel grateful for a lot of things in my life and have previously carried out a daily gratitude practice in my bullet journal each evening. This particular exercise though, takes things a little further and asks you to consider three positives and why they happened. I haven’t yet tried this out (as I was so excited to share the ideas behind it in this blog post) but I have a feeling that it will be really useful in helping me (and you if you try it out) to realise how many of the positives in my life are directly linked to my own actions and thoughts.
The Three Good Things exercise
The 3GT exercise was co-created by Martin Seligman, one of the leading experts in positive psychology. He designed the activity as a tool to really highlight the good in your life in a simple, easy and scientifically backed way that helps to boost your happiness.
How it works
Every evening, at least an hour before bed, think of three good things that happened that day. These could be big or small things – anything positive counts. Maybe you particularly enjoyed a meal you cooked or you found the perfect neutral t-shirt you’ve been looking for whilst out shopping. Perhaps you managed to carve out some time to work on a creative project or a task that you’ve been putting off was easier and quicker than you thought.
Write these things down on paper. Don’t just think about them. Journalling about them is a very important step in the process.
Reflect on what brought about these events i.e. why they happened. For example, you might have spent a chunk of time last week searching online resources for recipes to try, picked one which sounded nice and chose good quality ingredients for the dish to make it extra special.
Do the above each night for six weeks and then think about the effect it has had on your happiness levels.
An example
My 3GTs for today:
Finding an interesting idea in an old magazine. I found the information as I flicked through the pages during a mini declutter of my craft room.
Two lovely comments on my blog post which made me feel so happy. I took the time to photograph and share my bullet journal spreads for February and provided a short explanation for each page. I try really hard to be consistent with my posting and share content which my readers will enjoy. I also spend time making sure my posts read well and are informative as the quality of my articles is really important to me.
My Amazon order just popped through the letterbox a day earlier than expected. I now have two more books of gorgeous stickers and a new good quality washi tape to add to collection for use in my bullet journal and traveler’s notebook. The work I do at the uni plus other sources of funds enable me to treat myself to journalling supplies which are a joy to use. I’m so pleased that Nichola suggested getting in touch with Lesley as I really love doing PCPI sessions and I know the students appreciate what we do too.
Photo credit: Laura Jones for Keeping It Creative
Why it works
By carrying out the exercise on a regular basis, you’re training your brain to find a number of positives in each day and begin to recognise what went before to cause these things to happen. This helps to change the focus from stressful or negative aspects of our lives, encouraging us to be more thankful for what we currently have (even those things which we tend to take for granted) and more optimistic and hopeful about our future.
Final thoughts
The Three Good Things exercise sounds to me like a wonderful way of digging deeper into gratitude so that you look at what came before positive events and thoughts in your day. I’m definitely going to give it a go and I’m pretty sure the thirty minutes or less that I dedicate to the practice each evening will have a huge impact on my life. Let me know in the comments if it sounds appealing to you and if it’s something you would like to try.
Research shows that practising gratitude is great for your mental and physical health. Being thankful helps you be more optimistic, accepting and happy. It can even reduce some of the physical symptoms of illness and reduce our stress levels. In today’s Monday Matters post I’m going to share some easy ways in which you can incorporate a daily focus on being grateful for what you have.
What is gratitude?
Gratitude is all about being aware of the good things you have in your life and taking the time to express your appreciation for them. It’s about finding the positives and developing a glass half full attitude. It’s choosing to focus on abundance and how much you have to be grateful for, rather than a feeling of lack or complaint. It’s also about acknowledging the role others play in helping us and being thankful for everything they do.
Gratitude helps us to see what is there instead of what isn’t
Make gratitude meditation part of your daily practise
There are lots of short guided meditations available on YouTube or apps like Calm and Headspace which are really helpful if you are just getting started with meditation – just look for those which focus specifically on gratitude. These are great for developing a relaxed state by focusing on your breathing before inviting you to consider what you are grateful for.
If you are more experienced with meditation, you might create a script that you can follow (this could be written in your bullet journal or typed out and placed next to your bed as a visual reminder). For example:
Get yourself into a comfortable position where you are relaxed but purposeful
Sit nice and tall like a mountain but keep your shoulders relaxed
Close your eyes and breathe
Take a moment to focus on your breathing
Now change the focus to your body and think about what you have to be grateful for
Widen the lens and bring to mind some of the things that you have which make your life easier or bring you great joy
Now focus on the people in your life and what they offer you. Silently thank them and feel the love spread through your body.
Think for a moment about how all of this gratitude makes you feel. Enjoy the sensations it creates in your body.
Finish your practise with some slow and steady breaths before making small movements and when you are ready, open your eyes.
It’s up to you when you want to practise but I find it nice to do first thing in the morning as it sets an intention of being grateful for the rest of the day.
Use affirmations
Writing some personalised gratitude affirmations that you repeat each day is another great way of focusing on all of the positive in your life. These can be quite general and things which we often take for granted e.g. I’m grateful for the clean air I have to breathe. I’m grateful that I have a cosy place to call home. I’m grateful for clean running water to drink and bathe in. I’m grateful for all of the delicious food in my fridge. I’m grateful for all of the opportunities that the modern world presents me with. This would make a lovely spread in your bullet journal and you could change your list each season. In the Summer you can add things like ‘I am grateful for sunny days’, ‘I am grateful for cold drinks when I’m feeling hot’ etc. In Winter time, ‘I’m grateful for my cosy pyjamas to keep me warm’, I’m grateful that we have central heating in our house’ etc.
Start a gratitude jar
I haven’t tried this one myself but the idea really appeals. You can choose any jar and you could even decorate it to show its purpose. It should be placed in a prominent place somewhere in your house (this might be a communal area if you want others to contribute to it as well) with paper and pens beside it. Each day (or most days), try to find something you are grateful for, write it on a slip of paper and place it inside. On days when you need a little pick me up, take some of the notes out and read them to remind yourself of what you have. You could also set a date in your diary or bullet journal to empty the jar out to see all of the loveliness inside.
Create a gratitude spread in your bullet journal
A few years ago, I created this wonderful sunshine gratitude spread and added to it during the weeks of December. I found it in one of my old bullet journals and have really enjoyed sitting and reading each of the things I had brought to mind. Many of them still stand today. I recall drawing the semi-circle by hand and adding the rays with a ruler to create the 19 sections. The centre of the sun is shading with coloured pencil and for the rest I used watercolour pencils as I didn’t have my paint sets then. There are so many different things you could focus on such as everyday things like your morning cup of coffee or your car to take you to different places. You can also think about people in your life who help you, for example your doctor who listens carefully and offers you appropriate treatment or your friend who provides a listening ear. You can even consider your own qualities and how they help you in your day-to-day life e.g. lots of patience with your children or your ability to be assertive when speaking to your boss at work.
Use gratitude prompts to evaluate your week
At the end of a busy week, it’s lovely to sit down and do some quiet reflection on all that you have to be grateful for. You can find a huge array of gratitude prompts on Pinterest -I’ve collected lots on this board so feel free to follow it if you need some ideas. You can either use them for journaling or to just focus your mind and thoughts. Here’s a few to get you started:
What challenge have you overcome and what helped you to face or overcome it?
What has been your favourite meal or snack over the course of the week?
Who have you felt inspired by?
What or who made you smile?
Think of a gadget in your home that has helped make something quicker or easier this week.
What is your main highlight?
You can also focus on your past experiences too:
Name a trip out that you’ve thoroughly enjoyed this year.
Think about one of your best memories from childhood.
Reminisce about one of your favourite holidays (vacations).
Recall something that you have made that you were really pleased with.
Think about something you have achieved in your life and consider your personal attributes which made you successful.
Recall one of the best gifts you have ever received and think about why.
That’s all of my tips for today. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading them and that they are helpful in instilling gratitude in your life. Remember that even if you are having a tough time right now, there’s always something to be grateful for. You might have to dig deep to bring something to mind, but, by taking the time to reflect, you will be able to pick out some positives and this will help to improve your mood.
Keeping it creative 