Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. Those of you who regularly read my blog posts may have noticed that I’ve been AWOL for a long time and haven’t written anything since April 2025. The truth is that for over six months, I really struggled with my mental health, coping with (or not) a lengthy spell of depression and chronic anxiety. And, unfortunately, one of my symptoms of really low mood is that I’m barely able to string a sentence together let alone write a blog post.
When I first started struggling, I was convinced it was due to something that had made me upset at work, but as time went on, I wondered why the event was still upsetting me. I’d been stable with my bipolar disorder for a fair few years, using both my medication and therapeutic strategies that I’d learnt in various therapy sessions to keep me well. However, the anxiety and depression continued and I became worried that I would never get better again (another symptom).
After around 4 months of difficulties, I saw a mental health practitioner at my GP surgery and she suggested that it might be worth tweaking my medication by increasing my anti-depressant. She also suggested that I might get blood tests done to check my hormone levels in case I was perimenopausal and the community pharmacist she had contacted about me agreed. At 48 years old, I was convinced that I could have started the menopause but I was so wrong! My levels were incredibly low which, according to my online reading, suggested I was well into the menopause – this came as a huge shock. After what felt like a long and agonising wait, I was started on HRT (in the form of patches), which I was advised could take up to three months to work. I kept taking the higher dose of my antidepressant but knew that it would cause extreme agitation at first and would take weeks to kick in. I was given a short course of Diazepam for this but it persisted for weeks and I wasn’t allowed any more. I was then prescribed a beta blocker to deal with the physical anxiety symptoms but it was still a real struggle as the medication doesn’t help the psychological side of things at all.
Whilst waiting for the antidepressant and HRT to kick in, I did lots of reading around bipolar disorder and menopause and discovered that fluctuating or low hormone levels can affect the efficacy of bipolar medication such as mood stabilisers and antidepressants (which I’m on both of), reducing the positive effects. I was upset that not one of the medical professionals I saw while unwell knew this and the various doctors I’d seen before the mental health practitioner had any idea about this.
Christmas was hard as my mood was so low, but, just after new year, I noticed the depression and anxiety had gone and I finally had my old self back. As with all previous episodes, it was like a switch had been flipped and I felt so much better. Unfortunately, I had a few issues with my physical health as I slipped down the bottom half of the stairs at home in my socks and then slipped again on a very icy pavement, injuring my coccyx (which is still not totally better). However, despite being in a huge amount of pain when sitting, it didn’t get me down and I accepted it would take a while for me to get better.
My writing mojo is totally back, as you can see from the above and this is the first of hopefully many posts and updates in 2026. I thought I’d ease myself back into blogging with a life update, including what I’m up to right now. I’m like a completely different person and so many friends have commented on how well I look. It’s such a relief for me and my family and, hopefully, I’ll be stable for a long while to come and as such, making the most of my life going forward. Here’s what I’m current finding joy doing:
Currently reading…
This month, I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone and reading some books that are not the crime or psychological dramas I usually prefer. I’ve read and listened to on Audible, a historical fiction classic novel called I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith and despite it being completely different to what I usually read, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Also, it was a book club read for a new online challenge created by Kelseyleigh at My Abiding Journal over on YouTube and it was nice to listen to her thoughts about it too. When I’d finished this book, I again opted for a different style, this time a Romcom called The Switch by Beth O’Leary. This light-hearted read isn’t as fast paced as my usual choices, but again, I’m enjoying the story, reading a few chapters in bed each night.
Currently watching…
There are so many fantastic dramas on at the moment and we’ve had to record some of them to watch over the next few months. We’ve just finished the BBC’s Wild Cherry and ITV’s Betrayal which were both fantastic and gripping. Right now, we’re loving the 29th series of Silent Witness and have also just begun watching The Lady which is based on the true story of Jane Andrews who was royal dresser for Sarah Ferguson in the late 80s to late 90s. We’ve only watched one episode so far but it looks promising.
Currently preparing for…
…spring arriving next month. There are lots of shoots popping up in the garden and we have a few miniature narcissus already out. There’s lots of tidying up to do out the back and as well as writing a list of gardening jobs, I intend to write a room by room list of spring cleaning jobs.
I’m also looking forward to changing up our home decor for the new season. I have lots of items I’ve purchased over the years (many decorative bunnies) but I’ve also purchased some mini honeycomb eggs and some tiny ceramic bunnies for my twig tree. In addition, I’ve ordered a lovely handmade felt banner from Etsy featuring daffodils and felt balls in shades of yellow and orange which I can’t wait to display in my craft room.
Currently working on…
…my new memory keeping and creative journal which I started last month. In it, I’m recording the highlights from each month as well as a bingo challenge from My Abiding Journal that I’ve signed up for which encourages you to create new seasonal memories following a fun game format. So far, I’ve completed my January pages and have printed lots of photos and collected ephemera for my February entries. I like to combine small amounts of journalling with the images and I’m also trying to draw a small piece of art each month to represent something I want to remember. Last month, I drew and coloured in some snowdrops and this month, I plan to sketch a sanderling which is a small wading bird that we’ve enjoyed watching feeding in the shallows of the sea as the tide comes in.
Currently enjoying…
…doing much more work at my local university. Whilst I was unwell, I struggled to get out of bed as I was always tired. This meant I only made myself available for sessions on an afternoon. Now I’m well, I’m available mornings and afternoons and have had much more work. It’s lovely to be back on top form and I feel such a sense of accomplishment after each working day.
Currently trying out…
…a number of new recipes from a vegan cookbook that I bought my husband as a gift. It’s wonderful to be spending time together preparing home cooked meals again and we’ve even learned how to make our own stir fry sauces which are so tasty and flavoursome. We’re looking forward to trying out many more over the coming months.
Final words…
I’m currently doing so much that I would be able to carry on writing this for hours yet but I don’t want it to end up being a TLDR affair! So, for now, that’s the end of my update and I invite you to comment and let me know what’s going on for you at the moment. I’d also love to know what everyone has planned for the spring months and I hope you’ll join me in a little seasonal cleaning in the March to May period. I’m planning on writing a blog post about how I’m going to prepare my spring cleaning lists so that I can be sure that all of those once or twice yearly tasks get ticked off.
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful springtime,
Keeping it creative 